Salaryman II: Gettin' Low

2012-02-12T14:42:00.000-08:00

I wish you didn't mean it, but I know that you mean it. I hope that I can save it and that you can feel again. I really wanted to be your everything and wake up next to you every day. I'm also wondering if this is not just a sign that you give up too easily... I'm really unsure of what I should do at this point. I just hope that our love is stronger than that and that once I'm by your side again, you won't feel this way again. I put so much love and faith in you... I'll be very sorry if I have to see you go.

2011-02-21T20:50:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm the opposite of what you need to continue and be strong on this path that you've set out on. I really don't want to keep your talent from the world, when you reach your potential, there will be so much you can do. At the same time though, I want you to be happy and if you're not happy with that I don't want to push you to keep going... I'm kind of at a loss as to what the right thing to do is.

Frustration

2011-02-18T21:21:00.000-08:00

It's been a year and a lot has changed, this morning I felt wistful but now I'm just disgruntled. What a waste of time and money, none of it is appreciated or ever was. People who announce to the world that they know everything are the ones who show they know nothing. Writing in a third party language which you can't write worth shit is obviously meant for the eyes of a third party. I wonder what's true, and definitely wish I got out the very first time I took shit. Somehow an egg from anyone else is better than a diamond from me. How come you felt you had the right to treat me like that? Fuck that shit.

But at the same time maybe I was just stopping at a tree having seen the forest. Maybe the only reason I was ever interested was what I ended up with in the end. I don't even really know why I should be mad I have everything I could want. I just don't let go very easily. Why all the angst bottled up inside of me? I was always a bad loser I guess.

My dad convinced me to hire a painter to fix a few things, I just hate feeling like I'm giving up. Man, over the years I've really become bitter about being patronized by my father, go figure. It would be nice if his advice didn't sound like it's trying to make you feel stupid.

Being an adult just seems like having less and less people to bitch to.

2010-10-18T17:17:00.000-07:00

Everytime I made fun of you, everytime I hurt you, I was lashing out at the weakness that I have inside of me. I don't think I can make up for all of those things, maybe not in this life, but let's try.

changes

2010-05-15T22:56:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling really down and stressed out lately.

I've applied for this job at AMD, and they've asked me for all of this background information. Now I have to wait for my diploma from Delft and I'm just worried that the delay will jeapordize everything... my mom's health is not good and I'm worried about who will look after her and the family since she is the one who does everything, and of course there is Xuan'er. It's been almost 3 months, but I'm still so in love with her. I think of her marrying another guy, whether it's by her own will or not, and I just really hate the thought... She doesn't respond to me now, and I dread the reasons why. I try to talk to and think aobut other girls, but ultimately they're just distractions.

We measured our heart rates at Shopper's Drugmart, and mine was almost twice JP's. Such a ridiculous amount of stress and worry... I'm going to cause myself an early death.

2010-04-16T10:37:00.000-07:00

I don't understand why, but recently I'm even more depressed than I was two months ago. Everyday I have bouts where I just miss her intensely, and I feel so alone. If I see anything Chinese, I think about her. I have been talking to lots of different girls, some of them I know would treat me much better than her, but it's just not the same. Maybe it's even what's making me sad, or maybe it's that she stopped replying to me again. She came to me when she was really sad, but I don't think it's good to be with someone who only wants to be with me when she's sad. And she's right, I don't trust her enough. Some part of me knows that there is no new guy, but I keep suspecting and feeling so jealous, I just think too much. I need a girl who tells me a lot more about her life and includes me a lot more than she does. But even saying all that, I really don't think I can ever love anyone as much as I love her. Some part of me still wants to run away to beijing tomorrow. I know though, if she can't compromise with me and meet me halfway to fix the many many problems we have, I can never be my own person, and never be happy.

I'm so nostalgic, so sentimental, so emotional. I feel like I'm being immature, not facing reality, dreaming. But I just wish things could be different. Those days in the Netherlands are always going to be dear to my heart. She will always be dear to my heart. I hope she finds the happiness she is looking for. I just wish I could have been that happiness.

depressing dream

2010-03-10T20:44:00.000-08:00

I had a dream about being in Beijing, post breakup. As in all dreams, the place wasn't the same as her place, but I knew it was her place and she was there in another room, her (female) friends staying over in her room on various nights. I also remember going to stay at a dorm room for some time. Most of all, I think it accurately recreated the intense feeling of loneliness that I had at that time. I think it would have felt much less lonely if I was actually alone... being near her but unable to talk or interact with her at all, feeling she was talking to her friends about me about god knows what, it was really a terrible feeling. Like I l was completely in the dark about what was really going on, and just had to stay there, and take it, like a complete loser. Something is different about her when she is in Beijing, even in my dreams.

My own poem for you

2010-03-08T14:49:00.000-08:00

Uncut Diamond

I found you one day by the shore,
I thought some shiny glass, nothing more.

When I looked closely, and brought you near,
A sparkle of brilliance became quite clear.

Although I'd no means to appraise,
I knew your worth in other ways.

Sometimes your rough edge made me bleed,
Sometimes it made me cry.
But such a stone you can't forget,
Once it has caught your eye.

Coveted by other men,
Your brilliance coming through again.

Cut so deep and wide one day,
In frustration and anger I threw you away.

Another picked you up alas,
He also saw you aren't just glass.

I'm hoping he will drop you too,
I'm hoping he can't stand the pain.
And if you're once more in my hands,
I'll never let you go again.

I never thought in my life I would ever love someone this much. Someone who would make me forget about my other priorities, someone I would really go to the end of the world for.

I miss you baober. Maybe I will always miss you.

Two poems for you

2010-03-01T21:03:00.000-08:00

Missing Her

Being without that girl
Makes it real hard to cope
The great distance between us
Makes me start to lose hope
I can't think I can't breathe
I just cannot go on
Until she is once more
Cradled safe in my arms

Yeah, I miss her sweet smile
I miss her cute face
I miss her soft touch
And her gentle embrace

I miss spending time that time
On the phone with no end
I miss the sweet voice
Of my special best friend

Yeah I miss her, I need her
I'm in deep misery
Cause I miss who I am
Whenever she is with me

But though she is somewhere else
And we're so far apart
I know just where she is

She's right here in my heart.......

-Migs Rustia

Regret

Long ago I wished to leave
" The house where I was born; "
Long ago I used to grieve,
My home seemed so forlorn.
In other years, its silent rooms
Were filled with haunting fears;
Now, their very memory comes
O'ercharged with tender tears.

Life and marriage I have known,
Things once deemed so bright;
Now, how utterly is flown
Every ray of light !
'Mid the unknown sea of life
I no blest isle have found;
At last, through all its wild wave's strife,
My bark is homeward bound.

Farewell, dark and rolling deep !
Farewell, foreign shore !
Open, in unclouded sweep,
Thou glorious realm before !
Yet, though I had safely pass'd
That weary, vexed main,
One loved voice, through surge and blast,
Could call me back again.

Though the soul's bright morning rose
O'er Paradise for me,
William ! even from Heaven's repose
I'd turn, invoked by thee !
Storm nor surge should e'er arrest
My soul, exulting then:
All my heaven was once thy breast,
Would it were mine again !

-Charlotte Bronte

I miss you, more than you can ever know...

2010-02-24T12:10:00.000-08:00

I am so sad that it has come to this... but honestly, she really made me sad when I was staying in Beijing. I paid a lot of money and went a really long way to be with her but it seemed she didn't really want to spend that much time with me. I cried so hard when she broke her promises, when she passed me over for her friends, who she could see for two weeks already, when she left me alone on Valentine's Day. I couldn't really understand it at all. Even if she thought it would be the end, wouldn't she want to spend as much time with me as possible before that?

I know I made the biggest mistake of all, but I don't think I could live my life under these conditions, a girl who loves me one minute and doesn't care at all about me the next. It's as if when she is in a bad mood, everything I have ever done for her becomes meaningless. I am too afraid to tell her how sad I am at the way she treats me because I feel if I anger her, she won't care anymore. I feel it's a form of abuse, similar in its cycle to physical abuse, but I would be much happier if she would just hit me. I thought we had broken out of this cycle, and it seemed like she stopped actually wanting to be with me, and started just wanting to honour her promises to me. I really felt sad that every time she goes back to Beijing, her feelings for me really mellow, like she was just grateful to have me while in Holland and not surrounded by friends and family. I certainly don't feel different when I am back home. And the way she didn't treat me the same as Stevan while I was there, who I feel did so much less for her, I just feel I deserve to be treated at least the same as him. Maybe she was just trying to make me feel this way so I wouldn't give up my career dreams to be with her, that's something I'll probably never know for sure. Maybe she was just under pressure too, and if we were just living normally in Beijing, daily life would have been the way it was in Holland. I can never know that either.

I feel like, loving her, I let my heart off of its leash, I just let it run as far and fast as it wanted. From now on, I won't let my heart be free, I will control it. I give my head precedence over my heart, and myself precedence over my girl. I know it is selfish, but I have been hurt too much, and too many times. My heart is almost entirely scar tissue, some from the knives of other girls, but maybe even more from her many needle jabs. Focusing on her means that no one was focusing on me, and my personal development has really lagged. I am such a mess now. I really need to find a job.

I read the giant card in my closet again today. For me, money is no matter, that was by far the sweetest present I could get from you. Your words and your feelings were simple, but in some ways, the simplest ones, the purest ones, are the most touching. I know that you really meant those things you wrote in that card, and I will cherish it as long as I live. I miss you so much my dear baober, when you were sweet to me you were the sweetest of all.

A little sweet and simple numbing me

2009-10-24T03:26:00.000-07:00

Mike,生日快乐，祝福你在今后的每一天都开开心心的。无论你今后的人生会又怎样的经历，就算在遇到困难的时候也要记得大大的微笑

Mike, happy birthday, I wish you will be very very happy each and every day from now on. Regardless of what kind of experiences you have in your life, even when you run into difficulties, also remember to wear a big smile.

リーン -君想い GReeeeN - Kimi Omoi

2009-10-19T04:18:00.000-07:00

君と出会ってから月日は流れ　こんなそばで支え合って
君のくれたもの多くあって　僕の両手想い出増えて
楽しい事ばかりではないが　君が居てくれたから乗り越えてこれた
本当君にありがとう　これからもあげたいよ何かを

いつだって　いつだって　気付かされる事は多くて
つながって　つながって　いるから強くなれる
僕だって　君にとって　そういう人になれるかな？
君を想い、、、

いつも君が笑ってるから　その笑顔が胸にあるから
繰り返しの日々を乗り越えて行けるのは　そう　君が居るから

君といる時間がドンドン過ぎて　さっきやった事過去になって
気が付くとそれが本当に惜しくて　一緒に居るのに笑ってなくて
共に過ごした時間が愛しくて　泣き笑いも二人の宝物で
こんな僕でいいか　いつも聞いて　本当は解ってるのに

いつだって　いつだって　君を困らせてばかりで
ただ黙って　君笑って　僕を許してくれる
僕だって　君にとって　優しい場所になれるかな？
君を想い、、、

いつも君が笑ってるから　その笑顔が胸にあるから
繰り返しの日々を乗り越えて行けるのは　そう　君が居るから

二人で見たあの星空を　覚えてますか？
「時間を止めて」　君はつぶやき
世界中の時間よすべて止まれ！　君が笑うまで、、、

いつも君が笑ってるから　その笑顔が胸にあるから
この両手で持ちきれぬほどに強くなれるのは　君が居るから！

The months and days I went out with you flowing by, you at my side supporting me,
The many things you gave me, in my hands the memories pile up,
It wasn't just fun things but, since you were here for me I could overcome,
Truly, thank you, from now on I want to give you something.

Every time, every time, I realised many things,
We are connected, connected, so I can grow stronger,
Will I be that person for you someday, too?
I think of you...

You are always smiling, I keep that smile in my breast,
I can overcome the ever repeating days, because you are there.

The time I am with you gradually passing, the things I did recently become the past,
I realise that it is really close, I'm together with you but not smiling,
the time we spent as friends is dear to me, laughing and crying, the treasure of two people,
"Am I good enough?", I'm always asking, although I know the real answer.

Every time, every time, you always confuse me,
You keep quiet, then smile, you let me off,
Will I be a gentle place for you someday, too?
I think of you...

You are always smiling, I keep that smile in my breast,
I can overcome the ever repeating days, because you are there.

The starry sky we saw, just the two of us, do you remember it?
"Make time stop" you mumbled,
Throughout the world, time, and everything, stop! Until I see your smile...

You are always smiling, I keep that smile in my breast,
These two hands holding on, I will be strong, because you are there!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXwITAFXRjg

Broken Record Reality

2009-07-14T08:42:00.000-07:00

Your puppy awaits your return
Loyal hound turning on fox friends
Big brown eyes staring into the flames
The bonfire that will swallow him whole

Where polygraph lines blur I do not know
Your heart or your tongue or my brain
I only know things feel so diferent
Yet they are the same

A vogue Nazi opening
Fitting this chapter of our lives
My opiate shipment arrives
But it's only oregano

Thai mutations, their twisted voices
Hard male jawlines, plucked eyebrows
Defying nature to the end
Sick with the smell of surgery

In a sardine tram
Chatting up your lover in a distant land
Compound eyes compounding my interest
Three strips make for long trips

Our own personal Bethlehem
Phallus housing an icy womb
A familiar shop with toys and games
Completely devoid of any frames

Sour tasting birthmarks
Sultry music sounding
Fanta filled mug spilled
Get the tissue paper

Side by side
Cucumber snake slithering through chilis
Stirring the palette of autumn
Paprika and cumin raining down

Broken record reality
Inverse poloroid slowly changing
Fairytales are only fairytales
Twisted version of Efteling bliss

Cooking

2009-07-11T15:38:00.000-07:00

Recently I've been filling my need for some kind of hobby with cooking. I kind of wish I had started taking pictures earlier, but meh, too late now. In the past I have more commonly just made most recipes I made from pure feeling, and a bunch of jumbling. Since I ate every day, it generally turned out alright, but was fairly devoid of spices and exotic ingredients. So now I read more recipes, watch more cooking shows, and have a better idea what substitutes what, what ingredients there are out there, and what flavours match or are needed to make something work.

Italian Potato Salad:

Ingredients: Potatoes, Scallion, Cucumber, Red Bell Pepper, Black Olives, Garlic, Oregano, Olive Oil, White Wine Vinegar, Salt, Pepper

Orange Salad with Chopped Olives:

Ingredients: Orange, Black Olives, Salt, Olive Oil

Fried Chicken:

Ingredients: Chicken, Flour, Egg, Oil, Garlic, Pepper, Paprika, Salt, Tumeric, Sichuan Pepper

Bean Stew:

Ingredients: Red Beans, Pepper, Salt, Paprika, Sichuan Pepper, Scallion, Small Red Chili, Garlic, Oil

Tortilla Espanola (Spanish Omelette):

Ingredients: Potato, Egg, Leak, Oil

Salsa:

Ingredients: Tomato Puree, Onion, Garlic, Small Red Chili

Spinach Salad:

Ingredients: Spinach, Hard Boiled Egg, Black Olives, Red Onion

Dressing:

Ingredients: Sour Cream, Balsamic Vinegar, Onion, Pepper

Pudding

2009-07-06T05:23:00.000-07:00

As my emotional pudding begins to set
You come and give it a stir

Lamentations

2009-06-27T04:19:00.000-07:00

Xuan'er broke up with me. It's pretty complicated, and I keep oscillating from fine to dismal.

I can completely understand the feeling when you go to a new environment and your feelings that seemed so strong begin to seem so far away. I can also understand how when you come back, they come flooding back, but somehow, nothing can ever be the same again.

On one hand, I just really miss having her around. When she was around, everything was just more fun. Now is kind of like the winter, after the sun has left and everything starts to freeze. I was really looking forward to a future with her, a future where I know I would wake up and have that feeling, every day. I thought she felt the same, but I guess it was just in my head.

I was feeling a little bit hopeful, about the future, like maybe she will realise how much I would do for her and how much she means to me, and come back to me. I am glad to know that she feels something and not nothing, but now I see that her feelings for me will only get weaker until they disappear, like ashes in the wind.

We won't be spending as much time together, she will go back to be with him again in September, and she will adjust to a life more or less devoid of me. I know she misses me now, and has feelings for me now, I guess what hurts is that I can only watch as it all blows away. I want to fight for her, I don't want to give up, while there is even the smallest shred of hope, but I just don't even have a desperate latch ditch plan. I can't see any way in which I can possibly reverse what has happened and continues to happen every day. I can only wait for a miracle.

I also can't stop myself from thinking really badly about her sometimes. Although I know it's nothing personal, I feel a little betrayed. I feel like all the words she said to me was just talking. If she wasn't sure what would make her happy, why didn't she figure things out with me before running into his arms? And if I did have a chance, that bitterness has probably cost me that chance.

Being with her, I long so badly to kiss her, hold her, hold her hand. It feels natural, or habitual at this point almost, and not being able to generates some awkwardness between us. When we met, I felt the awkwardness getting less as time went on, but my longing for physical contact with her grew likewise.

I will never be this sweet to anyone again. The only person who I think could restore my faith in love and in people is Xuan'er herself. She has passed on the lesson to me: love yourself more than anyone else.

Summer haiku

2009-06-15T05:53:00.000-07:00

無視された

草すぐしぼむ

水掛けず

three roses

2009-06-06T01:14:00.000-07:00

three roses intertwine my heart this day

the first, purest alabaster
forbidden, untouchable
a sweet scent lingering

the second, vibrant fuschia
darling of the three
exploding, oozing passion

the last, luscious ruby
beauty surpassing all others
bold, noble, proud, and true

their thorns caked with my blood
I will always feel the scars on June the fifth

Rosetta stone

2009-05-28T02:41:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't written in so long, I've been busy and I assumed pretty much no one is reading it...

ごめん、長く書かなくて、忙しかったし、誰も読んでないって思ってたから・・・

Sorry dat ik hier zo lang niet heb geschreef maar ik was aan het bezig en gedacht dat bijna niemand meer leest...

对不起我还没有写的很长一段时间，我很忙也我觉没有人读。。。

Désolé que je n'ai pas écrit pour longtemps, J'était occupé et J'ai pensé que personne ne lit pas plus...

In March, April and May I spent a lot of time with Xuan'er, and we went to many places in the Netherlands. Some of the more interesting places included: Zeeland, the Keukenhof again, Amsterdam for Queen's Day and The Hague for Queen's Night, a Disney-like themepark called Efteling, an open air historical museum (kind of like a pioneer village in Canada) in Arnhem, a Zoo in Amsterdam, and finally I took her to the airport in Dusseldorf because she went back to Beijing again for a month.

3月、4月、5月にシュアルと一緒にいっぱい時間過ごして、いろんなオランダーの所に行った。面白い方いくつは：ゼーランド、それでもう一回クーケンホッフ、それから女王の日にアムステルダムと女王の夜にハーグ、それでエフテリングって言うディズニーみたいな遊園地で、アーネムに野外博物館で、アムステルダムの動物園、そして彼女がペキンに一ヶ月帰ったからやっと彼女をデュッセルドルフの空港まで連れて行った。

Op Maart, April en Mei heb ik met Xuan'er veel tijd bespeed, en we zijn naar veel plaatsen in Nederland. Iets van de mere interessante plaatsen waren: Zeeland, weer de Keukenhof, Amsterdam op Koninginnedag en Den Haag op Konininnenacht, Efteling, de openluchtmuseum in Arnhem, een dierentuin in Amsterdam, en eindelijk ik bracht haar naar de luchthaven in Dusseldorf want ze ging terug weer een maand naar Beijing.

在三月和四月和五月我跟璇儿一起去很多荷兰的地方。有趣的之几是：泽兰，再次库肯霍夫，在女王节阿姆斯特丹也在女王夜海牙，一个叫俄福特令的游乐园，在阿纳姆有露天博物馆，在阿姆斯特丹有动物园，还是最后到杜塞尔多夫飞机场，因为她回家一个月到北京。

En Mars, Avril et Mei j'ai passé beaucoup de temps avec Xuan'er, et nous sommes allés à beaucoup des places dans les Pays-Bas. Quelque des plus intéressantes places étaient: Zeeland, encore le Keukenhof, Amsterdam pour le Jour de la Reine et Den Haag pour la Nuit de la Reine, un parc d'attractions qui s'appelle Efteling qui était un peu similaire à Disney, une musée de pleine air à Arnhem, un zoo à Amsterdam, et finallement je l'ai amené à l'aeorport à Dusseldorf, parce qu'elle est retourné a Beijing encore pour un mois.

My friend has invited me to his wedding in August, and I really want to go, but I am thinking it's probably better if I stay here and finish my stuff. It kind of bums me out though, because it's the first wedding I've been invited to by a friend.

僕の友達が彼の八月にある結婚式に誘って、僕が本当に生きたいけど多分ここから行かなくて勉強をした方がいいと思う。ちょっといらいっらだ、だって初めて友達に結婚式に誘われた。

Mijn vriend heeft me naar zijn huwelijk uitgenoodigd, en ik wil helemaal gaan, maar ik denk het waarschijnlijk beter is als ik hier blijf en mijn studie afmaken. Het is een beetje vervelend maar, het is de eerste huwelijk naar die een vriend heeft mij uitgenoodigd.

我的朋友邀请我参加他的在八月婚礼，所以我想要去可是我觉我应该完成我的研究。这是一点儿讨厌，因为他是第一次有个朋友邀请我参加他的婚礼。

Mon ami m'a invité à sa mariage, et je veux aller mais je pense que c'est mieux si je reste ici pour finir mes études. C'est un peu dommage parce que c'est le premier mariage à qui je suis invité par un ami.

Pictures/写真/Fotos/图片/Photos:

Vase

2009-05-26T12:47:00.000-07:00

Priceless treasure
Gentle curves carefully crafted
Tall, slender, majestic
The neck of a serpent
Lilies, so white and proud
Streetlights shining in the din
Porcelain, so fragile
One wrong move, you will shatter
Cradled in these arms
I will never let you fall

Carnival

2009-02-23T08:09:00.000-08:00

I started learning Mandarin in earnest, so I will try to put it up here as well. Maybe I should also put French up for completeness? My Japanese is really bad lately, I think I've basically lost the gift...

中国語を習うのは始めたからそれもここに付けるように頑張る。フランス語も書いていいかな？いい言葉勉強だ。最近日本語が下手になって、ちょっと厳しいな。

Ik heb begind om Chinees te leren, dus probeer ik in dat taal ook te schrijven. Misschien zou ik ook Frans opsturen? Mijn Japaans is helemaal slecht geworden, waarschijnlijk zal het nooit naar vroeger teruggaan...

我开始学中文所以我也书这儿。我也会书法语？我现在日本语书得不好。。。

J'ai commencé à apprendre Chinois, et alors j'essaie à l'écrire ici aussi. Peut-être doit-il écrire au Français aussi? Récemment mon Japonais est aussi si mauvais, je pense que je l'ai perdu...

Recently it's Carnival season (the time before Lent) in the Netherlands. We saw some parades on Sunday and we had a a big hot pot dinner (that Xuan'er prepared) on Saturday.

最近オランダーに「カーニヴァール」の時期だ（レンツの前の時）。日曜にパレード見て、土曜に大きい鍋食べた（僕の彼女のシュアールが作った）。

Recente is het Karnival in Nederland. Op zondag hebben we wat pereden gezien en op zaturdag hebben we een grote hotpot (die Xuan'er heeft klaar gemaakte) gegeten.

最近现在是谢肉节在荷兰。我们星期天看游行，星期六吃火锅（璇儿作了）。

Dernièrement c'est Carnivale en Pays-Bas. À Dimache nous sommes allés a regarder la parade, et samedi nous avons mangé un dîner de hot pot (que Xuan'er a fait).

I'm also trying to get the results finalized for the first chapter of my thesis, but some of the programs I'm using are really not working...

後は、卒論の第一課の研究の結果を集めるように頑張ってるけど、なんか使ってるソフトにいらいらされてる・・・

Ik probeer ook om de resultaten van de eerste deel van mijn thesis te opruimen maar wat programmas die ik gebruiken helemaal werken niet...

以后我尝试辑我的论文的第一课的结，可是我用得软件不行。。。

Aussi j'essaie à prendre les resultats pour le premier chapitre de mon thèse mais quelques programes que je utilise ne fonctionnent pas...

And now, a poem...

それで一句の詩・・・

En nu, een gedicht...

所以一点儿詩。。。

Et maintenant, une poème...

Volcano

When your smoke fills the sky
And you let out a sigh

When your ash rains down
And the grey coats the brown

When your lava starts to run
And it's hotter than the sun

When your side splits wide
And everything inside
Rushes out like a tide
I too go to hide

When everything is over
And your black rock cools
I come out from my cover
And collect the jewels

2009年

2009-01-14T05:30:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, I know it's been a while since the last time I wrote. I had a great time back in Canada with my family and friends. I had forgotten how much fun Christmas can be.

や皆さん、久しぶりでごめん。カナダで家族と友達といい日々過ごした。クリスマスのよさちょっと忘れちゃった。

The flight I had to Canada with Jet Airways was unquestionably the most enjoyable of my life. The screens were great, the food was like in a restaurant, and the stewardesses were hot! The return flight was the same except more stewards and less stewardesses. Bummer. I had to get up early to take the train down to Brussels, but it wasn't that bad.

カナダへ行ったジェット・エアウェーズのフライトは確かに人生の一番よかった。スクリーンが凄かったし、食べ物がレストランみたいでスチュワデッスも可愛かった！戻りフライトは同じようによかったけど女性が少なかった、残念！

After a couple days of shopping, renewing things, and sleeping, it was Christmas. I guess when you're little it doesn't feel like a lot of stuff but these days when you are wondering how much stuff you can bring on a plane it feels like a lot.

ショッピングした日々の後でクリスマスだった。小さいときは物がいっぱいって思わないけどこのどのぐらいがスーツケースに入れるか考えてるごろはいっぱいって思っちゃうね。

We did the usual boxing day, this time at aunt Bev and uncle Rob's. It felt kind of shorter than usual, I guess we are getting older and drifting apart (says the guy who went to live over seas twice in three years...). But it was a good time.

いつものボクシングディの家族会した。毎のよりちょっと短いって感じたけど、まだまだ楽しかった。多分年上になってそろそろ分けてるね。

I also spent New Year's in the traditional way at Rob's place with my high school friends. A lot of those people have drifted apart too but it's nice to see that some of us are still able to see each other. Grant and Heather have a baby now (they didn't come but Stacey was talking about it) which kind of freaks me out.

お正月は基本的に高校の友達と一緒にした。いろんな人がもう来てないけど、まだ僕たちの誰かが集まれるっていい感じだ。二人の結婚した友達はもう子供生んだ！来てないけど他の友達がその話してた。ちょっと怖いね･･･

I also spent three days at my sister's place downtown which was pretty good. It's nice to be able to be downtown without having to go back and forth to Ajax every day. I wish I could have spent more time with those friends, but I didn't really have that much time at home, so I think I did pretty well.

三日間姉貴のところに止まった。都心にあるから大学の友達に会うように凄く便利で楽しめた。もっと時間一緒に過ごせばいいのに二週間に四日間が悪くない。

When I first came back, I was missing my family pretty badly (I think I miss them more after I've recently seen them) but now it's already been a week. I've been having problems getting up in the morning, and I've had a hard time sleeping too, it's the first time I've had this kind of lasting problem with jet lag. I finished off a couple of things that have been a thorn in my side for a while so hopefully I can concentrate on my thesis finally. I've also started seeing a girl, and I have a pretty good feeling about it, but she lives kind of far away. But she may move closer in the coming months, so that could be good. I think that's all the news for now, pictures to follow.

戻ったところに家族が凄く寂しくて、もう一週間になった。起きることは問題あって、それが始めてだ。ちょっとプロジェクト終了してこれから卒論に注意できればいい。最近、新しい子と一緒出会ってる！今回はいい思いある。遠く住んでるけどもうすぐ近く引っ越すかもしらない、ならいいね。じゃそれで、写真が着く。

Luxembourg/Liege

2008-12-09T03:24:00.000-08:00

I went to Liege and Luxembourg on the weekend. It was a bit of a grueling train ride, I was sitting on the train for about 15 hours if you add it up. It was also a lot of walking... I think I pretty much covered those two cities.

週末にリエージュやルクセンブルクに行った。厳しい旅だった・・・１５時間電車乗ってた。いっぱい歩いたも。多分両方は一生戻らなくていいかな？

First I went to Luxembourg, I left at about 3 pm and got there at about 11 pm. I was running to the hostel because I thought they wouldn't let me come in after checkin time (11 pm) so I didn't take any pictures, but it is a breathtaking city, both during the day and at night. I met a Swiss guy who was staying in my room, and basically just went to bed.

最初はルクセンブルクに行って、１５時に学校出て２３時ぐらい着いた。遅れてたからホステルに走ってて夜の写真撮ってないけどとても風景がいい町だ、夜でも昼でも。同じ部屋に泊まってたスイス人知り合って、ちょっと話して、すぐ寝ちゃった。

Luxembourg is very hilly, so if you really want to explore it you have a lot of climbing to do. But it's also really pretty because you can see the top from the bottom and bottom from the top. There are some old city walls and buildings and tunnels, it's really cool. The architecture reminded me a bit of Vienna. There was a nice Christmas market there, but very expensive!

すごい丘があるから全て見たかったらよく登らなきゃ。でも上から下見えるし下から上見えるからとてもきれいだよ。古い壁とか建物とかあるからいいよ。ちょっとウィーンと同じ感じだね。クリスマスマーケットもあって、いいけど高い！

French is more commonly used than English there, so I was sort of trying to speak it. I found that usually I could understand other people but had a hard time speaking it myself. It was good practice.

フランス語は英語より人が話してるから話してみてた。注意したらよくほかの人の話わかったけど自分で発音することとか難しかった。でもいい練習だ。

I was done in Luxembourg in a few hours... I could have gone to the museum but my friend already went the first day, so we just had a beer. I was getting hungry so I went to find this horsemeat restaurant I'd read about, but it was closed, I was kind of annoyed, but I just got a baguette and on the train back to Liege.

早く全て見た・・・大きくない。博物館に行けたけど友達はもう行ったからビール飲んだだけ。お腹ついて馬肉のレストランに行ったけど閉まってた。ちょっと残念だけどパン買ってリエージュに戻った。

When I got to Liege it was already dark. In Europe this means that there is nothing to do because after 5 everything closes, but in a way I was lucky because I could take some really amazing pictures of the bridges they have over the Meuse.

着いた時間にもう夜になって、ユーロッパにはそれが何もできないの意味だ、全部の店とか早く閉まるから。でもちょっといいだった・・・きれいな橋の写真撮れた。

I just got something to eat and drink and read before bed. I had done a lot of walking and I didn't really want to go out again. Again this was a French city, and again I could usually make out what they were saying... I should really try to get my French up to fluent sometime.

ただ飲み物や食べ物買って、本を呼んだ。いっぱい歩いたからもう出たくなかった。もう一回フランス語の町で大体分かった・・・確かにフランス語にも主意したほうがいいね。

I couldn't sleep in the hostel, the guy below me was snoring and in the morning I had to go to the washroom and I was on the top bunk so I couldn't really get back to sleep after. So I read my book for a couple hours until breakfast, and then headed out to explore the city.

ホステルによく寝られなかったから５時から部屋出て本を読んで朝食食べて町を見に行った。

I walked a lot here, and since I was alone I got a little snap happy. It's a bit run down - you can see many places that are for sale or closed, most of the churches are not well maintained. There are nice areas, but they are obviously not swimming in the same kind of money as Luxembourg or Antwerp.

いっぱい歩いて、一人だったからちょっと写真撮りすぎたかも。ちょっと貧乏の気がする・・・いろんな店がを売りの用にあるか閉まってて、教会は壊してる。いいところもあるけどルクセンブルクやアントワープみたいにお金もちじゃない。

They have a gigantic outdoor market in the morning on Sunday - coincidentally when I was there, so I recommend Sunday if you want to go to Liege. It goes all for a very long way along the river in the north of the city, and they sell everything there.

日曜日にでかいマーケットある。偶然でいたから見えた、川の横にずっと続く。だから行ったら日曜日はお勧め。

I went to their modern art museum, which also coincidentally was free on the first Sunday of the month, so I could get in free. It was pretty small, so I was glad I didn't fork over the 8 euro for the normal ticket.

現実の美術館に行って偶然で一ヶ月の最初の日曜に入るのが無料だから何も払ってない。小さかったけど。だから８ユーロ払わなくてよかった。

After that I went home, I was pretty tired. I could have stopped out and seen Brussels a bit, but I just didn't feel like it at the time, I just wanted to go home. I'm getting tired of traveling alone.

それから帰った。かなり疲れた。ブリュッセルも見られたけど気がなくて帰りたかった。一人で旅行なんてもういい・・・

Het Flat Feest

2008-12-01T11:38:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! Another interesting weekend! On Friday we had a surprise party for two of my friends at the place of another of my friends. We bought presents, cooked, and then ate with 9 people. Afterwards we played poker, and I won! But only 9 euros.

こんばんわ皆さん！もう一回面白い週末過ごした！金曜日に友達のうちでびっくりパーティーした！二人の友達のようにプレゼント買って、料理して、九人で食べた。それから一緒にポーカーやって、僕が勝ったんだ！

Hoi iedereen! Nog een interessante weekend! Op Vrijdag gingen we naar de plaats van een vriendin van mij om een surprisefeest te maken voor twee vrienden. Samen met negen mensen hebben we gegeten. We speelde poker en ik heb gewonnen!

On Saturday I went to a nearby mall to shop but it Sinterklaas was there (this friday is Sinterklaas day) so I went home to get my camera and took a couple pictures.

土曜日に近いモールに行った。真実は買い物をしに行ったけど、シンタクラースの写真も撮った。今週の金曜日がシンタクラースなんだ。

Op zaterdag ging ik naar de dichtbije mall en nam ik een paar fotos van Sinterklaas (helemaal was ik daar om te winkelen).

At night a friend of mine came with a couple of his friends and we went to a Belgian bar with a wide selection of Belgian beers. You can try a lot of strange and delicious beers there.

晩に友達と彼の友達がアインドホヴェンから来て一緒にベルギーのバーに行った。いっぱいベルギーのビール（世界一かも）があって、変な物も美味しい物も飲んでみられる。

In de nacht kwamen mijn vriend van Eindhoven met een paar vrienden, vandaan gingen we naar een Belgische bar met veel keuze van bieren. Daar kun je helemaal anders en lekker bieren proberen!

After that, we went to the biggest party of the year in Delft, "het flaat feest" (the flat party). It was 9 floors in one building with a different party and theme on each floor, and each floor had a DJ and sold drinks. In Dutch fashion, people were all dressed up in strange costumes, sticking random stickers on everyone, and skipping with a rope constructed from glowsticks.

それからデルフトの一番大きいパーティーの「ヘット・フラット・フェースト」に行った。９階のビルに全階にパーティーとDJがいた。凄かった。いろんな友達にも会った。

Even later gingen we naar het grootste feest in het jaar van Delft, genoemede "het flat feest". Dat was negen verdiepingen in hetzelfde gebouw, alles met een feest en een DJ. Was wel leuk.

Pictures follow as normal.

写真が着く。

Wat fotos volgen.

2008-11-20T01:12:00.000-08:00

Last week, I talked to a girl who I haven't talked to in over a year. In fact, I probably haven't heard from her since before I left Haarlem, but actually, we were both living in Delft this whole time. It makes me think a little bit about how much in my life has changed, and how much has happened in that year.

先週、一年間以上一緒に話してない女性と話した。多分ハーレム出た前に何も聞いてないけど二人もずっとデルフトにいた。ちょっとこの一年間に人生がどの風に代わったとかどのぐらいあったか考えされた。

Vorige week spraak ik met een meisje dat ik heb een heel jaar niet gezien. In feit waarschijnlijk sinds voor ik ging uit Haarlem heb ik niet samen gepraten, en allebei waren altijd in Delft. Het laat me om over dit vorig jaar te denken en alles dat is gebeurt.

It's amazing how you want something when you don't have it, and don't want it when you do have it. I mean, when I was younger, I thought the UK was the greatest place in the world and I was excited to live there for the summer. But when I was there I felt really bored, and I found it difficult to make friends with English people. I think by living and working there, I could really got a "once great nation in shambles" feeling. Their coal industry, their agriculture industry, their clothing industry, their social security, their transportation system, all completely destroyed. It seems that the only way they can make money is ripping off tourists!

持ってないことが欲しくて持ってるようになったら欲しくないことって凄いね。若いごろにイギリスが世界一番カッコいいところと思って、そこに三ヶ月住んで楽しみにしてたけどいたごろ退屈したし、イギリス人と友達になるの難しいって思った。多分そこにいて「昔に偉くて今落ちた」気持ち感じた。産業は全部なくなって、国のインフラストラクチャもなくなってる気がした。ツーリストからお金取るしかできないみたい！

Het is ongelofelijk dat als je wilt iets dat je niet hebt, wil je dat niet als je het hebt. Vroeger dacht ik Engeland het beste land in de wereld maar toen ik daar was vond ik het land eens grand maar nu verdwijnt. Alles van de indutrie van dat land en ook zorgen en transportatie zijn kapot. Ander dan touristen hoe halen zij geld?

I was so eager to speak Dutch and meet Dutch people, but now that eagerness has sort of faded away.

オランダ語習うようにもオランダ人に会うようにも楽しみにしてたけどもう大体諦めた。

Ik wilde zo om Nederlands te spreken en Nederlanders te ontmoeten maar nu heb ik minder zin er in.

I went to the city of Utrecht on Saturday, and I think it's probably now my favourite city in the Netherlands. If you come here it is highly recommended. It reminded me a little of Edinburgh. I took some pictures, hope you like them.

土曜日にウートレクトって言う町に行った。今までオランダの一番好きな町だった！ここに来たらお勧めだ。エディンバラちょっと似てたってかんじた。写真撮った、好きならいいね！

Zaterdg ging ik naar Utrecht en tot nu is hij mijn favoriete Nederlandse stad. Als je hier komt is hij aanbevelend. Hij lijkt Edinburgh een beetje. Ik nam wat fotos, kijk maar.

Museumnacht

2008-11-02T05:26:00.000-08:00

On Saturday it was museum night, an event in Amsterdam where you can see as many museums as you want one night from 6 PM to 2 AM. I went with a couple of my friends, and we picked up another couple of guys on the way. We went to the Van Gogh museum, the photo gallery, a science museum with a Tesla coil, a historic sailboat, and finally the planetarium, although it was too late to see a show. To be honest, I think it was too crowded to really be a good event. For me, I think the photography museum was the most interesting, Van Gogh is really overrated.

土曜に「博物館の夜」だった。アムステルダムの博物館は一泊行き放題、午後の６時から午前の２時まで。二人の友達と行って、行きながらもう二人集めた。ゴッホの博物館や写真の美術館や理学の博物館や昔の船ややっとプラネタリウムに行った。多分凄く楽しくなるようにこんなに込んでないほうがいいね。僕にとって一番面白い奴が写真美術館だった。

Op Zaterdag was het museumnacht, een gebeurtenis in Amsterdam waar je alle museums van 6PM tot 2 AM kunt zien. Ik ging met een paar vrienden, en we pakten een paar meer op weg. We gingen naar de Van Gogh museum, FOAM, NEMO, een hisorische zeilboot en eindelijk de planetarium, hoeveel was het te laat om een show te zien. Eerlijk was er te veel mensen om een goede event te zijn. Volgens mij was FOAM de interessantste.

By my count, I've now been to Amsterdam 7 times. I have often felt that I haven't really been there much, so it seems like kind of a lot. I'm planning with some friends to go to Luxembourg at the end of November, I need to get around a bit more, I keep going to either Amsterdam, Den Haag or Rotterdam.

今までもう7回アムステルダムにいた。余り行ってないとよく思うからちょっと多いって思っちゃう。11月にラクセムバーグに行く計画してる。いつも同じ町に行ってるばっかりから！

Ik geloof dat tot nu in Amsterdam ben ik 7 keren geweest. Vaak voel ik me dat ik daarheen niet veel was dus 7 keer veel lijkt. Ik plan met vrienden in laat November naar Luxemburg te gaan, ik ging te veel naar Amsterdam, Rotterdam of Den Haag.

I feel like my thesis has gotten more interesting and more definite today! I think I can really focus on learning the things I will need, finally. I still have a lot of work to do on the other projects though! It's very frustrating... my partners always seem to come up with excuses why they can't work.

最近卒論がもっと面白くてもっと方を見つけた！今から本当に習わなきゃ行けないことに注意できる。まだ他のプロジェクトはいろいろあるけど！パートナーはいつも何もしてない！いらいらしてる！

Ik voel me vandaag als mijn dissertatie is meer interessant en vast! Ik denk dat ik meer can focus om leren dingen die ik moet leren. Ik heb nog veel werk om te doen met mijn andere projektjes, wat jammer! Het is helemaal een verijdeling... mijn partners hebben altijd excusen niet te werken.

Anyway, here are a few pictures from Museumnacht:

とにかく少し博物館の夜の写真あり：

Hier zijn wat afbeeldingen van Museumnacht:

Relapse

2008-10-30T05:49:00.000-07:00

There is no peace for me in this prison town,
Haunted by visions of you, tracing my footsteps.

Feathered wings twisting, snapping
Golden armour turns to lead
Claws and fangs erupt and horrors arise from tombs of the newly dead

Showers of cinnabar and honey,
Trying to erase the lavender and lime from my mind.

Tide goes out on a sandy beach
Revealing the shipwrecks impaled on the rocks
Never again to raise their sails, deposit sailors at their docks

My malaria is in relapse,
The train is charging down the tracks.

Eventful weekend

2008-10-13T01:47:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a crazy weekend. Asif and Navin came from Eindhoven and stayed in my place. On Friday we went out in Rotterdam. There is a bar in Rotterdam called "Bed" with hilarious consequences. I was thinking I should start a club called "My Pants" which would be even better. Everyone would remember the name.

On Saturday, I met Asif's new girlfriend, and we went over to the apartment of a guy in the year above most of us. It was pretty cool, we just made a lot of jokes about each other.

On Sunday, we first went to Navin's friend's place, spent a lot of time cooking but made fresh roti by hand which was really awesome. Then we went to visit my friends Zhanna and Medet, and their son who they had finally been able to get a visa for. They are always so hospitable, and their son is so cute! Again I ate a delicious dinner and finally went home. Not a very productive weekend...

Indiana Jones・インディアナ･ジョーンズ

2008-10-07T06:16:00.000-07:00

I watched the new Indiana Jones movie yesterday. Since I am a big Indy fan (movies, games, and even that young Indy miniseries), I kind of wish that I saw it in the theater. Of course it should have been better, but what can you expect from Spielberg and Lucas these days. I mean the whole movie was them repeatedly getting captured and running away, and I liked the god mythos in Indy. Why does Spielberg have to fuck everything up with aliens? The guy being his kid was obvious, and I think it's better if he doesn't marry Marion... loose ends too tied up. And I don't like the idea of him being a superspy. Gay. He's an archaeologist who gets caught up in stuff, not a spy... A little campiness is needed, but not drive-onto-a-tree, survive-a-nuclear-bomb campiness. I don't like the National Treasure influences, and I just don't really like how he seems invincible rather than lucky.

昨日新しいインディアナ・ジョーンズの映画見た。結構ファン（映画も古いゲームも、若いインディのミニシリーズも）だからちょっと映画館で見たらいいと思ってるけど。もちろんもっといい映画はずだけど、最近のルカスやスピルバーグからからいいこと悟れないな。大体映画中捕まえられたり逃げたりし、前の神様の説明ない話が好きだった。なぜスピルバーグが宇宙人ばっかり入れてるの？息子が分かりやすかったし、マリオンと結婚しないほうがいいと思う。それでスパイなんてばかばかしい･･･歴史が好きで人と混ざってるだけなの！それから、冷蔵庫でヌークとか木に運転することとかちょっとありえなさ過ぎる･･･

But, we got to see his hat, whip, complaints, and reluctant heroism again, and I thought the take on the fifties was good. Aside from being obviously his son, Henry III was a decent character I thought. And Marion was the only girl you could bring back if you had to bring one back. It felt faster paced and less believable, but I think that might just be because I watched the other ones so long ago. But I guess at this point I'd just rather see good Indy games than good Indy movies. Has anyone played anything later than Atlantis? I watched my cousin play a little of the Chinese themed one, but I heard they were bad.

でも帽子やウィップや文句見えて嬉しいね。それで50時代の変更も良かった。息子ってだれも見えたこと意外息子が十分いいカラクターだったし、やっぱりマリオンしかだれもと結婚できないって思った。信じられなくて速かったけど前の映画もそうだったかも知らない･･･子供だったし。いい映画よりいいインディのゲームもう一回やりたいな。アトランティスの後にはいいゲームあった？中国の奴をちょっといとこのところで見たけどよくないらしいね。

First day blues

2008-09-30T00:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my first day back at school (I got back to Delft on Saturday) and I felt so terrible. I kept remembering all the things which I should have shut out from my mind, but everywhere I go there I can see them. It's twisted how the same places which are the cause of so much joy can turn into the places which stab you in the heart a million times. It would be a lot easier if I was going somewhere else to do my thesis instead.

昨日が僕の初めて学校にいた日で凄く切なく感じた。前の頭から閉めたほうがいいことを思い出しちゃって、どこでも行ったら見える。同じところが前にそんなに幸せだったけど、今一億回刺されている気がする。他の大学で卒論しに行ったらこれよりずっと易しいね。

Gisteren was mijn eerste dag terug in school (ik ben terug in Delft op Zaterdag) en ik voelde me me zo gedrukt. Ik me herineerde alle dingen dat ik zou van mijn hoofd dichten, maar overal ga ik zie ik hem. Het is verdraaid dat dezelfde platsen dat geven zo veel plezier worden de platsen die steken je in de haart een miljoen keer. Het zou makkelijker worden als ik mijn dissertatie in een andere universteit zal gaan doen.

I think I'm going to try to "warm myself up" to the EWI building... yesterday I could only stand to be there for about 3 hours, and I felt as if I would go insane. And I have so much work to do. Today I'll see if I can do 5 or so.

多分ビルに行くの慣れるように頑張る。昨日は3時間ぐらいしかいなくておかしくなっちゃうと思った。凄いいっぱいしなきゃならないことあるし。今日は5時間ぐらい試してみよう。

Ik denk dat ik zal proberen om "mijnzelf te opwarmen" met de EWI gebouw. Gisteren kon ik alleen rond 3 uren daar blijven, en vandaan voelde ik me als ik gek zou worden. En ik heb zo veel werk om te doen. Vandaag probeer ik 5 of zo.

I also went to an instemming last night. Instemming means something like "approval" in Dutch, and is basically an interview to stay in a student room. All in Dutch, all Dutch people, and they were all really young, around 18. There was one temporary room and one full time room, and there were like 35 people there! At first I thought it was a waste of time. But then I thought, at least I could practice my Dutch. Anyway I'm glad to have the experience.

昨日「インステミング」にも行った。オランダ語で｢受ける」って言う意味で部屋を見つけるように面接みたいなんだ。皆オランダ人、全てオランダ語、皆凄く若かった、18歳ぐらい。35人が部屋一つを探してたんだ！そして最初に時間の無駄って思ったけどそれからオランダ語を練習する機会だと思った。とにかく、経験があるのはいいんだ。

Ook ging ik gisteren naar een instemming. Alles Nederlands, iedereen Nederlanders, en idereen was zo jong, ongeveer 18. Er was een tijdelijke kamer en een voltijde kamer, en er waren ongeveer 35 mensen daar! Eerst dacht ik dat het niet de mooide waard was. Vandan dacht ik dat bij het minst kon ik mijn Nederlands oefenen. In elk geval ben ik blij om de ervaring te hebben.

捨てられたもの

2008-09-27T14:37:00.000-07:00

葉の崎に
捨てられたもの
月の下

In the stream of leaves
The tossed aside garbage
Underneath the moon

In het broek van bladderen
De uitgooiede afval
Onder de maan

Cotswolds

2008-09-22T01:04:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, I took a long bus ride to Oxfordshire, to stay with a second cousin twice removed (my grandma's second cousin) named Dorothy. She was 90 years old, still as sharp as a tack, and really very fascinating. She took me around a little bit in the beautiful old villages and countryside in her area of England. It reminded me of the Ardennes a little, the buildings were made mostly of limestone with ivy climbing on them, and it was very hilly and forested.

前週の週末にオクスフォードまでバス乗って、遠い親戚のドロシーの家に泊まった。90歳だけどまだ頭凄くいいし、本当に面白い人だった。彼女の辺りのとても綺麗な田舎や村に連れて行った。ちょっとアーデンみたいで石灰石の建物ばかりで丘や森がいっぱいだった。

Vorige weekend heb een helemaal lang busrijden naar Oxfordshire gedaan om met een verwijderde famillielid te blijven. Ze was al 90 jaar maar nog scherp en echt waar interessant. Ze heeft me een beetje van de oude dorpen en platteland van haar gebied van Engeland laten zien. Het lijkt een beetje de Ardennen, omdat alle gebouwen van kalksteen waren gemaakt en er was veel klimop, en er zijn veel bossen en heuvellen was.

We went to see a church with a Saxon tower, which means it was built before William the Conqueror came. There were crosses carved into the wall by crusaders when they left to get spanked by Saladin. In the graveyard, the limestone headstones were being degraded by acid rain and the ground was so soft that they were often at strange angles.

サクソンのタワーある教会を見に行った。それはウィリアム第一が来た前に建てた意味なんだ。三つぐらい小さい十字が壁に入っていた、それは十字運の戦士が書いた字だった。墓地で石灰石の墓石が雨で字がなくなってたし、土が柔らかくて墓石が変な角で立ってた。

We gingen om een kerk te zien met een Saxone toren, dat betekend dat het er voor William I was. Er waren kruissen in de muur gekervde van kruisvaarders. De kalksteen grafstenen uiteenvallen bij de regen, een staan op bijzondere hoeken omdat de grond niet vast is.

She told me about the Mitford sisters, of whom one was a famous author, one became a communist, one became a fascist, one became a duchess, and one slept with Hitler, tried to kill herself but botched it and went even crazier. She took me to the graveyard where four out of five (the duchess is still alive) were buried.

ミトフォードの姉妹の話も彼女に聞いた。一人が有名な諸説家、一人が共産主義者、一人がファシスト、一人が公爵婦人、やっと一人がヒトラーと一緒に寝ておかしくなった。五人の四がいる墓地に連れて行った。

Ze heeft me over de Mitford zussen gespraken die zijn een auteur, een communist, een fascist, een hertogin, en de liefde van Hitler geworden. Ze heeft me naar de kerkhof waarin vier van de vijfen (de herogin leeft nog) nu liggen.

She also told me about a pre-Raphaelite named William Morris. He married a very beautiful girl, but she fell in love with another man. The guy was his friend, and he could see however, that he was sliding into drugs and alcohol. So he actually rented a house and left them together. Three years later, the other guy had basically gone crazy, and he came back to a happy marriage. You have to wonder how much he must have loved that girl, and if she was really worth it.

それからアーチストのウィリアムモッリスを話した。凄い美人と結婚したけど彼女は他の男が好きになった。その男は彼の友達で彼がお酒や他のものを使って、下に行くって見えた。それで家借りて、二人を一緒にしたけど、三年後彼が変になって、結婚がずっとよかった。彼女はどんなに好きだったし、本当にそんなに凄いかどうか考えるしかないね。

Ze sprak ook over een pre-Raphaelite die was William Morris genoemd. He was met en helemaal mooi mesje getrouwd, maar zijn vriend was voor haar liefde geworden. Hij kon zien dat zijn vriend naar drogen een alcohol valt en heeft een huis gehuurde voor de tweeen. De vriend was gek gewordt en daarna was de trouwerij erg blij. Ik moet denken als het mesje het mooie waard was of niet.

The next day I went to meet her daughter Sarah(my third cousin once removed - and since Dorothy married her own cousin once removed, also my second cousin twice removed) and her family. Apparently, some branch of the Molson family owns a house that I could see across the way. They asked me about them as if they were some obscure Canadian microbrewery, but I told them that anyone from Canada will know Molson.

次の日に彼女の娘のサラと彼女の家族を知り合った。モルソンのだれか近くに住んでて、「誰それ？」って聞いて、「カナダの一番有名なビールの会社だ」って言った。

De volgende dat ging ik om haar dochter Sarah en haar gezin te ontmoeten. Zij hebben me het huis van de Molsons laten zien, en gevraagd over wie zij waren.

At this point, I really felt like a character in a Jane Austen novel. I mean, I was travelling across England to meet and stay with distant relatives and they were putting me up and the like. And I may be reading a little too much into it, but, I met Sarah's youngest daughter (my fourth cousin and third cousin once removed) who Dorothy described as a "very nice girl", and perhaps coupled with the fact that Dorothy married her relative made me feel a bit like she was hoping for something and it felt a little awkward. And she was a nice girl, I think, but I can't really imagine going out with someone I know is related to me. But between her and another girl who was volunteering in a church who they were talking to, I couldn't help but think that English country girls might be decent marriage material... very down to earth.

その時は凄いジェーンアーステンの諸説にいた気がした！だって、イギリスの田舎で旅行して、知らない親戚の家にとまった。それから、僕が見すぎてるかも知らないけどサラの末子のハリエットに知り合って、ドロシーの言葉で「とてもいい子だ」で多分ドロシーが自分の親戚と結婚したから彼女がちょっと希望あったかも知らないし、変な感じだったよね。やっぱりいい子だと思ったけど、親戚と付き合うなんて考えられない。でも彼女や他の手伝ってた女を見て、イギリスの田舎の女性は結婚のようにいいかもね。凄く･･･優しい。

Op dit moment voelde ik me als een karakter van een roman van Jane Austen. Ik bedoel dat ik in Engeland reiste om verwijderde familielidden te treffen en blijven. En misschien lees ik te veel maar ik heb de yongste dochter van Sarah ontemoeten die Dorothy zei "een grappige mesje" was en misschien ook dat Dorothy was met haar familielid getrouwd, ik voelde me als ze iets bijzonders gewilde. Ze was een grappig mesje maar ik kan niet over uitgaan met een familielid voorstellen. Maar tussen haar en een andere mesje dat ik heb ontgemoeten dacht ik dat misschien plattelandig Engelses zullen goede vrouwen worden voor mij.

On the way back, there was a guy who sat next to me on the bus, apparently descended from William Pepperell, who just talked and talked and talked. He had some interesting things to say about the financial crisis, and although he had some ideas I thought a little far fetched, I couldn't help thinking he was right. I mean, it's amazing how a government can basically destroy the finances of their own country, the most powerful country in the world, and essentially give up their number one position to China (or possibly a unified Europe). And I'm no lover of the current world order, but I'm a little afraid of a world where China occupies that spot.

帰る時に、隣の奴が有名な隊長から来たそうな人が僕に話しかけて、彼の口がそれから閉まってない！でもなんか面白いこと言った。アメリカがやっぱり最近自分の国の経済を全然殺した。中国かユーロッパに第一スポットあげてる感じだ。アメリカ人はもちろん余り好きじゃないけど、中国が第一の世界は結構怖いね。

Op weg terug heb ik een man ontgemoeten die was van de familie van William Pepperell gekomen die heeft zo veel gepraten. He had een paar interessant dingen om te zeggen over de financiele wereldproblemen en maar iets van zijn ideeen anders waren gelijk. De overheid van de VS heeft zijn land van de hoogste van de wereld genoemen, en de plaats naar China of Europa gegeven. Ik vind er niks van de VS, maar ik ben een beetje bang van een Chinese wereld met zijn momentele overheid.

One more week until I'm back in Holland!

一週間でオランダに戻るぞ！

Een week nog voor ik terug in Nederland ben!

Ivy
西洋木津だ
Klimop

Saxon Tower
サクソンタワー
Saxone Toren

Gravestone
墓石
Grafsteen

Headless Jesus
頭ないイエス
Geen Hoofd Jesus

Crosses
十字
Kruissen

Strangely angled gravestones
変な角の墓石
Vreemde gehoekde grafstenen

Different graves
いろんな墓
Verschillende Grafen

Limestone building
石灰石ビル
Kalksteen gebouw

Another Jesus
またイエス
Nog Jesus

Fields
原野
Velden

Graveyard
墓地
Kerkhof

Quest for Glory 2

2008-09-14T05:09:00.000-07:00

Hello... I've done pretty much nothing this weekend (my last in Cambridge). One thing I DID do is play through the fan remake of Quest for Glory 2 (one of my favourite series of games) as a magic user. Thanks Chip for letting me know it finally came out!

こんにちわ、僕が昨週にほとんど何もしてない。ひとつしたことがクエストフォアグローリー第2の再製（僕の大好きなゲームシリーズ）魔法でやった。

Halo... ik heb dit weekend (mijn laatste in Cambridge) bijna niks gedaan. Een ding die ik HEB gedaan is door een fan weergemaakte speel van Quest for Glory 2(een van mijn liefste series van spelen) speelte als een magik-gebruiker.

I really love these games... they are old but they are still fun and the VGA versions look decent. Some of the solutions are lame for especially the fighter, and the fighting is kinda lame in some of them, but the characters and jokes are so cute and funny. If you are interested in playing them, maybe I'd recommend starting with 3 or 4, and then if you like it go back to playing the first one, because the first one is probably the least fun to play.

このゲーム共大好き･･･古いけどまだ楽しいし、VGAバージョンがまだまま綺麗だ。たまに解決がちょっとださくて、戦うこともたまにダサいけどカラックターや冗談が凄く可愛くて面白い。やりたければ、第3日第4から初めて好きなら第一やったほうがいいかも。第一が多分一番面白くないから。

Ik hou helemaal van deze spelen... zij zijn oud maar nog vijn en de VGA versies zijn mooi genoeg. Iets van de oplossingen zijn saai, speciaal voor de vechter, en het vechten is ook soms saai, maar de karakters en de graapjes zijn zo grappig. Als heb er zin in, misschien speel je liever 3 of 4, en dan als je het leuk vind, ga terug naar de eerste van de series omdat de eerste is waarschijnlijk de minst vijne.

Next weekend I'm going to stay at my Grandmother's cousin's house. I'm a bit worried that it will be awkward, but I'll survive, it's only one weekend.

来週末におばあちゃんのいとこの家に泊まる！ちょっと緊張してるけど、生きるね、二日だけだね。

Volgend weekend ga ik op de huis van de nien van mijn grootmoeder blijven. Ik zit in een beetje spanning als het bijzonders woordt, maar het is alleen een weekend, ik zal okee zijn.

A couple of my best friends that I made here this summer finished their placements and are gone. It's actually only two more weeks for me here, and then I'm on a train down the chunnel and back to Nederland. The only place I could find there is really far from the school, so I hope I can find something else, and quick.

二人のここで知り合った親友が終えて行っちゃった。二週間後僕も電車乗ってオランダに戻る。見つけた部屋が凄く遠いからもう一つ見つけなきゃ。速く！

En paar van mijn dichtse vrienden die ik hier heb gemaakt hebben zijn stages geendigten en zijn gegaan. Eigenlijk is het alleen twee meer weken voor me, en dan ben ik op een trein onder de zee en terug naar Nederland. De enige plaats dat ik heb gevonden is zo ver van de universiteit, ik hoop ik kan wat anders vinden, en snel.

クローバー

2008-09-10T15:43:00.000-07:00

見付けたや
四枚の葉の
クローバー
手を開けてすぐ
風に飛ぶ

I found it
the four leafed
clover
I open my hand and soon
it flies away in the wind

ik vond hem
de vier bladden
klaver
ik open mijn hand en spoedig
hij vlieg weg op de wind

September already!　もう九月になっちゃった！

2008-09-08T08:51:00.000-07:00

On Friday it was my friend Mario's (yeah I know) birthday, and he made us (a group of summer students who always hangs out together) an Italian dinner and we drank a lot of red wine. He made a pasta course, but also a course that was basically ground beef, mixed with a little egg and flour, spread thin, onto which he spread peppers, cheese, and cured ham. Then he rolled it all up and put it into the oven. It was amazing. I wish we took the good parts of Italian cooking.

金曜日に友達のマリオの誕生日で会社の学生のようにイタリア料理の食事作ってくれて、いっぱい赤ワイン飲んだ。パスタコースも作ったけど、凄く美味しいハムやチーズやピーマンが肉で巻かれたものを作った。イタリア料理のいいところはなんでカナダで作ってないの？！

Op vrijdag was mijn vriend Mario jarig, en he heeft eten klaar gemaakt voor een groep van ons studenten die werken op het kantoor. We hebben veel rode wijn ook gedrankten. Hij maakte een pasta gang maar ook een gang die was gehaktevles din gemaakt met kaas en ham en paprika erop, en dan gerolde en in het oven gezetten. 'Twas helemaal lekker! Waarom krijgen we niet de goede delen van Italianse eten?

On Saturday I basically stayed home all day, but on Sunday we went to the Duxford air museum, which was used by the RAF during WWI and WWII and the USAF in the later part of the war. There was an air show too that day, so we took the opportunity to look at everything else too. The price was about 30 pounds normally but only 10 for a student (still not exactly cheap). But it was a pretty interesting place, they just had so many planes and even trucks and helicopters and such, some of which they salvaged from the war or received from someone. A lot of the stuff was sort of half repaired.

土曜日に休んだけど日曜日に飛行機の博物館に行った。世界第1や2戦争で疲れたエアーベースだった。エアーショーもあったから全部を見に行った。学生は凄く安い料金だった！いっぱいいっぱい歴史的な飛行機持ってた。

Op zaterdag heb ik niks gedaan maar op zondag gingen we naar een luchtmachtmuseum en zien we een air show. Veel luchtmachines van WWI en WWII waren daar en de luchthaven was ook gebruikt par de RAF en USAF. Voor studenten was het prijs helemaal goedkoop!

It was raining like crazy, but then it kind of suddenly let up and then went back to raining a few times, but finally, the sky turned blue and they had a nice airshow. I had to wonder how many years it had been since I used to go with my dad and my sister, and sometimes my uncle Joe and cousin Javi. There was one plane where the pilot just flew straight up and then let the plane stall and start to fall down. Kind of reminded me of playing Red Baron.

強く雨降ってたんだけど急に止んで空が青くなっていいエアーショーだった。何年前に親父や姉貴と一緒に行ったかなと思って。面白そう、飛行機を運転ってこと。

Het regente sterk maar opeens was het stijl een de zon kamt uit. Hoeveel jaar was 't sinds met mijn vader en zus ging ik naar een air show? Het lijkt vijn om een luchtmachine te rijden.

I've only got about 20 days left here. I've found a room (hopefully only temporary, it's a bit of a hole) and bought my eurostar ticket. The weather has been so terrible recently that I'm actually a bit excited to be getting back to Holland, even with all the baggage.

後20日ぐらい、イギリスで。オランダーで部屋見つけたけど、凄くやばくて悪いところにあるから運がよければすぐ他のいい部屋見つけるね。ここの天気が最悪だったから、オランダに戻ることが楽しみね。彼女を思い出しちゃっても。

Ik heb alleen rond 20 dagen meer in Engeland. Ik vond een kamer in nederland maar hoopelijk is het tijdelijk, ik wil een bet kamer vinden. Ik heb nu zin in naar Nederland teruggaan!

Botanical Garden

Fitzwilliam museum

Cast of "As You Like It"

Yours' Truly

Whale Skeleton

Concorde

"Can I be your wingman?"
"Anytime!"

Fastest plane in use by any military

Loop

Break

Portable missile launcher

Bonnie Scotland

2008-08-26T05:36:00.000-07:00

I met up with Chip on Thursday, and we waited around a few hours for a sleeper train, and rode it to Edinburgh. When we got up, we got on a tour of the highlands, Loch Ness, and the island of Skye. There were a lot more people than the last time, and everyone was a lot more social. The guide was also really funny.

木曜日にチップと会って、寝坊電車を何時間待って、エディンバラまで乗った。起きた時にハイランドやスカイ島やネス湖に行くツアーに行った。前回よりたくさん人いて、皆がもっと話しやすかった。ガイドも凄く面白かった。

Op donderdag heb ik met Chip getrekken, en we hebber een paar uren gewacht voor een slapentrein, en vandan naar Edinburgh gereden. Toen we zijn opgestaan, we een tour van de hooglanden, Loch Ness, en het eisle van Skye hebben gebeginten. Er zijn helemaal meer mensen dan de volgende keer, en iedereen was meer sociale. De man met de leiding was ook erg prachtig.

First we went to Stirling, near where the battle of Bannockburn was fought, and the William Wallace memorial is. Then we went to see a highland cow, to the valley of Glencoe which is famous for a massacre, and up to Loch Ness. We saw a demonstration of the traditional highland dress (which looks like but is NOT a kilt) and Chip volunteered to have the guy demonstrate on him some traditional highlander martial arts.

During the evening we all started talking and drinking and got to know a bunch of the people on the tour. I think this was more the way the tours were intended. It was pretty fun and we made a bunch of good friends. I even met a couple of people living in Cambridge.

The second day we went to the island of Skye. We went to see a castle first, out in the middle of a loch. It was the base of a failed Jacobite rebellion enlisting the help of Spain. Then we went over to the island and went into a famous mountain valley, supposedly the home of the king of the faeries. We ate lunch by a stream there, and the tour guide slipped on some rocks and fell in! We got on the bus to come back, and although a bunch of people went on loch Ness on a boat, we decided to skip it. Another night of drinking and trivial pursuit ensued.

The third day, we went to the famous loch to try to get old Nessie on camera. We then stopped to try a venison burger and a deep fried Mars bar, and onward to see an old cathedral, and finally back to Edinburgh. Chip went on another sleeper train back to London, but I stayed that night in Edinburgh. The hostel was pretty far from the downtown core, but there was a shuttle, and it was gigantic! It was almost like a very cheap resort. But I basically just went to sleep so I could get up early the next day.

I went into town, and saw the cathedral, the museum, and looked at some of the monuments. Edinburgh is a really beautiful city, everything is made of stone, and it is hilly, so there are different levels in the city which I always find interesting. It was also time for a very famous Fringe Festival, so I went to see a play which I really enjoyed, but it was really short and expensive, so I decided just to go home afterwards. The train was ridiculously crowded! I had to stand for about 4 hours. But when I changed lines I could finally sit down.

So now it's back to work again...

Big man!

Sleeper train

Edinburgh

William Wallace memorial

Views from Stirling castle

A highland cow named "Hamish"

Scenery

Deer

Glencoe

Right near the beach... boy!

Flowers

More beach

Commando memorial

Near Loch Ness

Traditional Highland dress and fighting style

The castle from "Highlander"

Highland targe and cutlass

Open the blast door! Open the blast door! Close the blast door!

More scenery...

Saucy Mary's castle

Bridge to Skye

Superman!

Magical valley

Lunch at the faerie pools

The tour guide fell in!

More faerie pools...

Souvenir shop

Nessie

Loch Ness

Aww...

Memorial at Culloden

Deep fried Mars bar!

Ruined cathedral

Some more scenery...

Mint sauce packets?

Edinburgh by night

St. Giles

Museum of Scotland

Edinburgh randoms

Wales

2008-08-18T06:25:00.000-07:00

This weekend, my brother and I took a tour to Wales. It really is a beautiful place... somehow the flora evokes the images of Celtic legends, it's just so green! There are hills and mountains and ancient buildings everywhere, and there is tons of green growing on them, too. There is a lot of water, which coupled with mountains makes for a lot of little streams and waterfalls. I think the thing that I enjoyed about the trip the most was just driving through the mountains.

先週末に弟とウェルズでツアーしてきた。本当に綺麗なところだ･･･どうやってか植物がケルト人の神話の想像思わせる。緑いっぱい！丘や山や古い建物どこでもあって、そこも凄い緑ある。水もいっぱいあって、山と一緒あっていろんな小さい沢や滝もあった。多分一番好きな旅行のことがただ山でバス乗って見てたことだ。

Vorige weekend, mijn broertje en ik zijn naar Wales op een tour gegaan. Het is een echt waar mooi land... Bij wijze de planten maken een indruk van celtishe mythologie, het is maar zo groen! Er zjin heuvellen en bergen en oude gebouwen overal, en er is veel groen op hem ook. En er is ook veel water, dat samen met de water maakt veel stroomtjes en watervallen. Ik vond eigenlijk de rijden tussen de bergen misschien de beste stuk van de reis.

It was in a way a very hard weekend for me, there were some things that I couldn't stop thinking about. There were some nice girls on the tour bus, but I felt bad even just talking to them.

他の理由で僕にとって凄くつらい週末だった。考えて止められないこといっぱいあった。いい子共がツアーにもいたけど一緒に話すことだけから気持ち悪かった。

Het was ook een helemaal moeilijk weekend voor mij, er waren wat dingen daarover ik niet kon stoppen denken. Er waren wat aardige meisjes op de bus maar ik voelte me slecht maar ermee sprekken.

The first day, after an early start and long drive, we went to see a ruined castle, Cardiff, the capital of Wales, and a ruined abbey. I think I got some pretty good pics.

一日目に速い初めてや長いドライブの後で城の廃墟やカーディフ（ウェルズの首都）や廃墟の修道院に行った。いい写真撮れたと思う！

De eerste dag, achter een vroege begint en een lange reis, gingen we naar een geruineerd kasteel, Cardiff, de hoofdstad van Wales, en een geruineerd abdij. Ik geloof dat ik wat goede foto's heb gekrijgen.

The second day, we went to a coal mine, and then to the last resting place of the last Welsh Prince, stopped to eat in a little town, and finally on a trek to a tall waterfall in a valley with three bridges stacked on top of each other.

二日目に炭鉱や最後のウェルズの王子様の墓にいて、小さい町で食べて、高い滝と三つ橋の谷で散歩した。

De tweede dag gingen we naar een kolengroeve en vandaan naar het graf van de laatste prins van Wales, stopten in een klein dorp om lunch te eten, en eindelijk bij een waterval lopten.

The third day, we went to a town covered in bookshops (which also made it really cheap to buy them there) and then to Stratford-upon-Avon, Willy Shake's hometown. The last stop didn't really have a lot to see, there wasn't enough time to go into the buildings and such, but it was a very pretty little place and the sun was shining.

三日目に本屋どこでもあった町に行って、それからシェークスペアの出身のストラトフォードに行った。最後のストップがちょっと忙しくて時間足りなかったけど、綺麗な町で太陽が照らしてた。

De deerde dag gingen we naar een dorp vol met boekenwinkels, en dan naar Stratford, waar William Shakespeare is geleven. Er was niet veel tijd voor de laatste halte maar het was een mooi klein plaats en de zon schijnte.

Cornish pasty
コーンワルのペースト

A car grinding itself to death
自分で死んでる車

London
ロンドン

Wellington at Waterloo
ウェリングトン

London war monuments
ロンドンの戦争の記念碑

Chip eating breakfast
朝ごはん食べてるチップ

Chepstow Castle
チェップストー城

Chepstow Town
チェプストー町

Celtic flora
ケルトの植物

River Severn
セヴァーン川

Cardiff
カーディフ

Ham cut right off the bone
骨から切られたハム

Brains - brewed in Cardiff
カーディフのビルのブレーンズ

Church
教会

Welsh
ウェルズ語

More Cardiff
又カーディフ

Tintern Abbey
ティンターン修道院

Abergevenny
アバーガヴェニー

Before the mine
炭鉱前

Outside the mine
炭鉱の外

Llewelyn the last's resting place
最後のリュエレンの墓

Wilderness
環境

Devil's Bridge
悪魔の橋

Don't go chasing waterfalls
滝の冒険

Hay on Wye - town of books
ヘー・オン・ワイって言う本の町

Stratford
ストラトフォード

Song translation

2008-08-14T01:38:00.000-07:00

I really felt what this song was saying recently, so I decided to translate it... enjoy. Some Japanese songs use really difficult and poetic language, which is difficult for me to understand unless I look it up, but for this song I didn't really have to look up a lot of words.

Because of differences in sentence structure and other things, it doesn't really have the same effect in English as Japanese, but hopefully I captured the most of it. Enjoy.

タイヨウのうた

震えている私の手に初めて君が触れて
優しい気持ち暖かさにやっと気付いたんだ
閉ざした窓開ければ新しい風が吹いた

笑って泣いて君と出会えて
見える世界は輝き出した
向日葵揺れる　太陽の下で
感じていた　風を　日々を…

信じること迷うことも立ち止まることも全部
私が今ここで生きてる答えかもしれない
モノクロの毎日が色付いて行くように

笑って　泣いて　君と出会えて
続く未来は輝いていた
向日葵揺れる　太陽の下で
わたしのまま明日を歌うよ...

限りにない日々も
止まらない時間も
どれなけ愛せるかな
愛せるよね
君がいれば二人さえも
逸らさないで...

笑って　泣いて　君と出会えて
続く未来は輝いていた
向日葵揺れる　太陽の下で
わたしのまま明日を

ありがとう伝えたい今なら言えるよ
過ごした季節も忘れはしないよ
向日葵揺れるタイヨウのように
私のうた君を照らすよ...

私のまま・・・
君を・・・・
君を・・・

Song of the Sun

You touch my trembling hand for the first time
Kind feelings are finally cared for by your warmth
When you could open the window I had closed, a new wind began to blow

Laughing, crying, going out with you
The world I can see glows with brilliance
The sunflowers sway underneath the sun
Those days and that wind that I felt...

Believing, running away, and standing still, all of them
Are maybe the answer saying that I'm here living now
To put the colour into the every day monochrome

Laughing, crying, going out with you
The ongoing future was brilliant
The sunflowers sway underneath the sun
Sing in the way I sing tomorrow...

Days with no boundaries
Time that doesn't stop
How much can I love?
I can love
If you were here even just the two of us
Don't make me lose control...

Laughing, crying, going out with you
The ongoing future was brilliant
The sunflowers sway underneath the sun
The way I do... tomorrow...

I want to tell you thank you, if it's now I can say it
The season we spent together, I won't forget it
The sunflowers shake, just like the sun
My song will shine on you...

The way I do...
On you...
On you...

Faerie

2008-08-07T11:00:00.000-07:00

Lips of ambrosia
With just one kiss
I succumb to your succulence.

Body of marble
With just one glance
I’m in awe of your opulence.

Face of fate
I could not miss
The smile of the fey

Breath of peace
I could not chance
Your dust blowing away

London

2008-08-03T12:49:00.000-07:00

Today I went to London. First I went to the British museum, and then I met a friend. But I couldn't help thinking about the previous weekend in Amsterdam and how much fun we had there. Took some nice pictures though.

今日ロンドンに行って来た。最初に博物館に行って、それから友達に会った。でも先週のアムステルダムの週末を考えるしかできなかった。いい写真撮れたけど。

Vandaag was ik in London. Eerst ging ik naar een museum, en vandan trefte met een vriendin. Maar kon ik niet denken over iedereen buiten laatste weekend in Amsterdam en de leuke tijd dat we daar hadden. Maar nam wat mooie foto's.

Cambridge yet again...・まだまだケームブリージ・Nog meer Cambridge

2008-08-03T12:12:00.000-07:00

I went out to some of the colleges again on Saturday with one of my friends from work, and took a bunch of pictures. I really had to get outside and distract myself with something. I'm getting pretty bored of just seeing old school buildings though.

土曜日にもう一回コレージの何件に見に行った。仕事の友達と一緒に行って、いろんな写真撮った。本当に出かけなきゃならなかった。でもここのふるい量とかはちょっとつまらなくなってる。

Zaterdag ging ik naar sommige colleges weer met een vriend van mijn kantoor, en wat fotos nam. Ik moest helemaal uitgaan en iets doen. Ik woord wel moe van oude school gebouwen maar.

In the evening I went to see a local production of Shakespeare's Richard III. Originally other people were supposed to come but they all ditched me! It was still good though.

晩にShakespeareのRichard弟三の王様を見に行った。皆の友達がキャンセルしたけど。一人だったけどまだ楽しかった。

S'avonds ben ik naar een productie van Shakespeare's Richard III geweest. Vroeger schijnt het dat andere vrienden ook kwammen maar ze zijn niet gekomen. Het was nog leuk maar.

July 2nd

2008-08-02T02:08:00.000-07:00

Shaytan beckons to me but I flee towards madness

The last window in my house of dreams is shattered

I chance a glance of the hammer holder, I see myself

Why does everything I wear remind me of you?

As I stand in the street, cars pass through me

Each time I check the clock a few minutes backward

The blood stains fresh in my mind

The teeth marks in the pencil

A pair of scissors snips through a heart

And is crushed by another

I follow Morpheus, hoping you will be there

Japanese, Dutch/日本語、オランダ語/Japaans, Nederlands

2008-07-24T13:58:00.001-07:00

Finally I have internet in my room, got a phone, had a weekend to go out and take some pictures.

やっとインターネットできて、携帯買えて、週末に出かけて写真撮れた。

Eindelijk heb ik internet in mijn kamer, heb ik een foon gehalen, en heb ik en weekend om uit te gaan en wat fotos te nemen.

I met up with a friend from undergrad, Jon Mar, on friday, saturday bought a phone, looked at a house, sunday went to a museum (with a lot of famous paintings, some I recognised even, lots of famouts artists). I also took a picture of a flower I've never seen before that I'm really happy with!

金曜に大学の友達と会って、土曜に携帯買って部屋を見て、日曜に芸術館に行った。いっぱい名人の絵があった！凄い綺麗な花の写真も撮れて喜んだ！

Vrijdag heb ik met een vriend uit universiteit getreffen, zaterdag kocht ik een foon en op een kamer ging zoeken, en zondag ben ik naar een museum geweest met veel namelijke schrijvings. Ik neem ook een helemaal mooie foto van een bloem dat ik niet ken. Ik was wel blij!

So pretty! Red and purple?
綺麗でしょう！赤と紫？
Zo mooi! Rood en paars?

Old ass prayer book
昔のキリスト教の聖書
Oude bibel

Chapel
教会
Kerk

A couple cars at ARM
ARMの車を二つ
Een paar auto's op ARM

Old building...
昔のビル
Oude gebouw

Roses
薔薇
Rosen

Secret staircase
秘密の会談
Trappen

Garage sale!
ごみ売り？
Afval verkoop

Pembrooke Street
ペムブルーク道路
Pembrooke Straat

Mary Poppins Chimneys!!!
メーリーポッピンズのチムニー！
Chimneys uit Mary Poppins!

Tight squeeze
やばい！
Niet veel ruimte!

Church garden
教会庭
Kerk tuin

Another college.
他のコレージ
Nog een college.

Flowers
花
Bloemen

Fulbourn

2008-07-17T01:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had an appointment with a guy to see a place a bit closer to my office, but completely in the opposite direction, but he made the appointment at 8 pm. I went an hour early, hoping he would be there, but he wasn't. I learned though that I could get internet access at the place I'm at now, and the place in question was just so far from civilization, so I just went home. The little town was very charming though. It kind of reminded me of my Grandparents' house, especially the old rooms which hadn't changed since probably the 50s. The way the place was decorated and the designs especially reminded me of that. There was a huge wheat field (complete with a thresher yesterday) and a windmill(!) on the way to the place. I just can't imagine enjoying myself in a place like that.

I got a vindaloo curry "takeaway" (takeout) which leaked a little in my bag (grr) and was actually probably too hot for me. The combined heat and spice made it very hard to eat. But the abundance of quality Indian food here is awesome. I'm not allowed to fry and there is no oven in the kitchen, plus actually the takeout isn't much more expensive than cooking for yourself, so I'm just going to eat most of my meals out or takeout or make something cold. It sucks, but what can you do.

The old country

2008-07-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

Hello from jolly old England! I've been here about 4 days now. I don't have internet access at home, so I don't know what I'm going to do about Japanese. Maybe romaji?

The city is just so unbelievably old! There are a lot of buildings from before the gunpowder age. Really astounding!

I haven't really made a lot of friends here yet, but actually I'm doing okay. I've gotten a bit used to the solitude. It's amazing though, as soon as I have no internet, I can't figure out what to do with myself. The bike ride to and from work is pretty far, I can do it in about half an hour. The company is really decked out inside, but it's in a very unsuspecting location! You wouldn't think such an important company had an office smack in the middle of Fulbourn.

It is almost like living in a witty English comedy. Sometimes the things they say make me laugh just because it sounds like something straight out of Monty Python or something. My boss is such a stereotypical English nerd! He talks so fast that I can't even understand what he's saying half the time, and he just seems like someone for whom everything goes wrong (Murphy's Law style). The guy sitting across from me is a bit like an "all-round boy", sort of someone for whom everything goes right. The guy behind me is this older, witty chap who writes documents and gives everyone grief about how incoherent their English is. The guy accross from me is this little Scottish guy who has bright blond hair, talks with a lisp, and looks a like a mouse. All in all an interesting combination! Most of the other people in the room have been pretty quiet so far.

I was talking to someone today who made me realise that I don't appreciate my life enough. I mean, I already knew this, but I think I should actively stop complaining so much, and I might start enjoying everything a lot more. Thanks so much to that person, you mean the world to me!

And I just want to say thanks to every one of my other friends and family members too! I was so glad to go home and see all of you again, and sad about the ones I couldn't.

I have to admit, I looked back a lot more fondly on my childhood than I did before, when I went back to Canada. Sometimes I have felt like there was nothing special or unique in growing up the way I did in Canada, since so many people can speak English, watch the same shows, etc. But I think now that there are certain things that really can't be transfered easily by media. Maybe it's made me feel a little more content.

Poems・詩

2008-06-24T22:00:00.000-07:00

Love's Squall

Without a trace of a cloud in the sky
The storm started in the blink of an eye
Love’s squall thunders in my ear
Lightning flashes, drawing near
Soothing drops fall on the window
Pitter-patters in the soft glow
Darkness shattered by the light
Deadly beauty in the night
Riverbanks rising in the flood
Foundations of mountains turning to mud
Disappearing as it came
Quiet whispers of a name

空に雲の跡なくて
嵐がいきなり始まって
恋の雷が耳に入って
稲妻見えて、近く来る
優しい滴が窓に落ちて
輝きでパタパタする
暗さ光に粉々にされて
夜の危ない美しさ
川が大水で上がって、
山の下が泥になって
来たように消えて
静かな名前のささやく

Bliss

Two opals glimmering in the night,
Comfort in the rocking galley,
What seems so wrong but feels so right,
Nestled in the rumbling valley.

A kiss of life,
A kiss of death,
A kiss of strife,
With baited breath.

Songbirds in the crisp mountain air,
Feminine grace fit for a king,
Sleepy, happy, beautiful stare,
The most precious flower comes out in spring.

Ravens’ feathers strewn about,
Natural and peaceful flow,
Never wanting to get out,
Never wanting to let go.

Back in Canada

2008-06-20T06:15:00.000-07:00

I'm back in Canada for about 4 weeks. I had to rush to get everything done before I left. It's actually a little slow here sometimes, my sister's in Cambodia, my brothers are doing their exams, my mom was away and then my dad was away, and all of my friends are working on the weekdays. I have so many more people I want to visit but I've used almost half of my time here. It sucks.

カナダに戻って、四週間ぐらいいる。学校のことは急いでやってきた。ここはちょっと･･･ゆっくり。姉貴がカンボジアにいて、弟たちは試験あるし、まずお袋が向こうにいて、それから親父が。友達も皆仕事で忙しい。もう半分の時間ぐらい過ぎたけどいろんな人とまだ会いたい。大変だね。

Ik ben terug in Canada rond 4 weken. I moest snel alles klaarmaken voor hier te komen. Het is een beetje langzaam, mijn zus is in Cambodie, mijn broers hebben tentamens, en mijn moeder was eerst weg dan ook mijn vader. Ik heb zo veel mensen die ik wil ontmoeten maar bijna half mijn tijd is al gegaan. Jammer.

But I've distracted my brothers from their studies a little, and the times I have met with my friends have been really awesome, and the coming weekend should be fun. Last weekend I met with a couple of my best friends and we just talked. I also met with some of my friends from Sapporo who are living in Toronto now, and we tried making some Japanese food that you can't really get over here, it turned out really nicely! I even saw the people I went around Europe with at Christmas (although I went for the all you can eat wings). I thought I was going to die I was so full.

でも弟たちを勉強から引いて、友達と凄くいい時間過ごした。来る週末もたのしそう！前週、僕が二人の親友と会っていっぱい話した。それから札幌にいた時の友達とも会って、一緒に焼き鳥と焼きおにぎり作った！クリスマスにユーロッパに一緒に行った人とも会った（食べ放題鳥羽を食べに行ったけど）！死ぬかなと思って、腹がそんなにいっぱいだった。

Maar ik heb mijn broers genoemd van zijn studeren en alle tijden met mijn vrienden waren erg leuk, en het komende weekend zou ook helemaal vjin worden. Het Vorige weekend heb ik met twee van mijn beste vrienden ontgemoest, en grappig gepraten. En ik heb met wat vrienden van Sapporo getreffen die zijn nu in Toronto. We hebben Japaanse eten klaargemaakt, en het was erg lekker! Ik heb ook met de mensen getreffen die ik ben samen met in Centrale Europa geweest(maar ik ben voor de alles je kunt eten wingen geweest). Ik dacht dat ik ga doden ik at zo veel.

Here are some pictures from the barbecue with my Sapporo friends
札幌の友達とのBBQの写真だ
Hier zijn wat fotos van de barbecue met mijn Sapporo vreinden

2008-05-28T13:42:00.000-07:00

There was a fire in the Architecture building a few weeks ago, which basically completely destroyed the building. A water leak caused a short circuit. They had turned off the water supply because of the leak, and there is a sort of "moat" around the building, and there is no access on what was the side that burned first, because there is construction all along the street, and all of those things caused complications.

何週間前、大学のひとつのビルに火事があって、ほとんど全てなくなった。

To me, it's retarded that they just let the entire building burn. I've never seen a building on fire before, but like, I couldn't help but think that it was retarded the way they sprayed it with a nonchalantly with a couple of hoses and let all that research and models and stuff slowly burn out of existence.

火事はその時まで見たことないけど、なんか、皆が何もしなくて、ちょっと信じられなかった。

Here are some pictures from the aftermath(there are pictures on Facebook and stuff if you want to see the actual fire).

その時の後の写真：

Queen's Day/女王の日/Koninginnedag

2008-05-01T12:02:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody, yesterday was Queen's day, the national day in the Netherlands, so on Tuesday, we went to Den Haag for the evening, and then yesterday we went to a big concert in Amsterdam.

や皆、昨日は女王の日(オランダの全国の日）で火曜日にデンハーグに行って、昨日アムステルダムに大きいライブを見に行った。

Hoi iedereen, gisteren was Koninginnedag, het nationaledag van Nederland, dus gingen we op Dinsdag naar den Haag voor de avond, en dan gisteren naar een grote concert in Amsterdam.

Everyone was wearing orange, drinking, and it was crowded as hell, in many places similar to how crowded it was in Vienna for New Years. The whole city was set up like a market, and they were selling whatever possible, because on Queen's day. There was also more garbage than I've ever seen in my life (save at a dump).

皆がオレンジ着たり、飲んだりしてた。凄く込んでいて、どこかはウィーンの正月みたいだった。全町が市みたいにどこでも小さい店が建ってた。女王の日に税金払わなくていいだって。それよりどこでも見たことない量のごみがあった！

Iedereen droeg oraanje, dronk, en er was erg veel mensen, in ieder plaats hetzelfde met Nieuwejaarsdag in Wien. De hele stad leek een markt met winkelen overal omdat op Koninginnedag men geen belasten betalt. Er was ook meer afval dan ik heb ooit gezien, zodra een opslagplaats.

I was really impressed with the concert though, I already downloaded music from some of the artists. And all of the Dutch people knew all the words and were singing along, it really made me feel the Dutch spirit or something. Most of the artists were Dutch, but the headliner was David Guetta (a French DJ, very hot right now). We basically couldn't move to save our lives but we were standing there for about 6 hours.

ライブは凄く好きだった。もう誰かの演技した人の音楽をダウンロードしたんだ。皆のオランダ人が言葉知ってて歌ってて、なんかオランダの気を強く感じた。ほとんど皆がオランダ人だったけど最後の人がデヴィッドゲッタって言うフランス人のDJだった。基本的に６時間立って動けなかったけど楽しかった。

Ik vond de concert helemaal leuk, ik heb al muziek van sommige artisten gedownloaded. En alle Nederlanders kenden alle woorden en zangen, ik kon sterk de Nederlandse geest me voelen. De meest van artisten waren Nederlanders maar die van het eind was David Guetta, een franse DJ. We konnen niet voor rond 6 uur bewegen, maar dat was okee.

marathon

2008-04-27T03:21:00.000-07:00

On Thursday, we went on a bus to Eindhoven and back for a Phillips open house kind of thing. The same night, we got on a bus to Hanover. There was a technology fair there, and then we went to do a couple touristy things, and back to the bus to come back overnight. The next day, we went on another bus to the Keukenhof, "the most beautiful spring garden in the world". I never want to see another bus again, and I slept for like 14 hours last night.

木曜日にアインドホべンって言う町にバスで行って来た。フィリップスって言う会社が入社興味ある人に見せるようにエベントした。その晩にハノーバーって言うドイツの町にバスで行った。そこでテック祭りあって、それからちょっと観光して次の夜にバス乗って帰った。起きてバスも一回でクーケンホフって言う「世界一番綺麗な春庭」に行って来た。もうバス見たくないし、14時間ぐらい寝た、夕べ。

Op Donderdag zijn we naar Eindhoven met een bus voor een Phillips uitkeering gegaan. Dezelfde nacht zijn we met een andere bus naar Hanover gegaan. Er was een technieke feest en we deeden een paar touriste dingen, en met de bus gingen we terug. De volgende dag gingen we naar de Keukenhof, "de mooiste voorjaartuin van de wereld". Ik wil nooit een andere bus zien, en ik heb vorige nacht 14 urr geslapen.

Some flowers near my place

Phillips Excursion
フィリップスエベント

Napoleon and Armin

Andre

The first day was a lot of "please work for us", but it was fun to be out with so many of my friends.

最初の日はたくさん「こっちで働いてください！」あったけどいっぱい友達と一緒にいられて楽しかった。

De eerste dag was vol met "werk bij ons alstublieft" maar het was helemaal gezellig met zo veel vrienden uit te zijn.

Hanover Expo
ハノーバー祭り

Dhara

Navin

Dwi

A 3D printed object! The printer uses layers of chalk, ink, and adhesive to make even mechanically functional objects (I saw a moving wrench, and a little tricycle). This would blow your mind if you saw it!

3D印刷のものだ！プリンターがチョークやインクやのりを使って、動けるものも作れる！凄いよ!

The Hanover tech conference has a special focus country every year, and this year was Japan. There were a lot of Japanese people, companies, and universities with exhibits, and when I started talking Japanese to them it blew their mind! But it was fun. The coolest things that I saw were robotics and 3D printing.

ハノーバーの祭りは毎年特別な国に注意して、今年は日本だった。日本の会社や大学はいっぱいあってロボットとか見せた。すごかったよ。日本語を話したときに凄く喜んでた！でも楽しかった。一番面白い見たことは３D印刷とロボット。

De Hanover reis heeft elk jaar een verschillend land daarbij zij focussen en dit jaar was Japan. Er waren veel Japanse mensen, bedrijven en universiteiten met tonen, en toen heb ik Japaans gepraten worden de Japaanses helemaal blij. De koeleste dingen dat ik zag waren roboten en 3D printen.

Hanover Centrum

Hanover Royal Gardens
ハノーバー王家庭

This was a really huge and beautiful garden that formerly belonged to the Princes of Hanover. It was pretty brutal though, after the day we had to walk around the entire place, and we basically only had time for food after. So I ate some sausages and sauerkraut, and it was back to the bus for us.

これは本当に大きくて綺麗な庭で凄く前にハノーバーの王子（それからイギリスの王）持ってた。長い日の後で凄く疲れていて、その後ご飯しか時間なかった。ソーセージ食べてバスに戻った。

Dit was een grote mooie tuin die was van de Prinsen van Hanover. Het was en stukje moeilijk om de heel tuin te zien achter onze drukke dag. Er was achter maar tijd voor eten, en ik heb wat worsten en sauerkraut gegeten. Dan gingen we terug naar de bus.

Keukenhof
クーケンホフ

Mahshid

Napoleon

The weather was gorgeous, and it really is a beautiful, beautiful place. It's kind of like Furano, except it's really a garden and not just a huge field of flowers. Kind of reminded me of the top of the tree of life in Quest for Glory 3. Quoting that game "This place is like, totally awesome, dude." It was really crowded but it is still highly recommended for any tourists.

天気がとても良くて、凄く綺麗なところだ。ちょっと富良野みたいだけどそれより庭だよね。人がいっぱいいたけど観光のようにお勧めだよ。

De weer was helemaal mooi en het is echt een mooi plaats. Het lijkt Furano maar het is meer van een tuin. Voor touristen is het aanbeveld.

Binnenhof breakins

2008-04-22T03:43:00.000-07:00

I've been a little distracted so I wasn't paying it much mind earlier, but a few weeks ago there were three break-ins in our building, and people had their laptops (and maybe something else?) stolen, although on the other side of the building, but one was even on the second floor.

最近ちょっと注意が他のところにあったけど二週間前に三つの部屋が入られた。パソコンを取った、二階の部屋も一つだって。

Ik heb recente over andere dingen gedacht dus heb ik niet zo over dit gezorgde maar, een paar weken voor waren er drie komputers geneemt van zijn kamers. Een op de eerste stage.

When you think about it, it's pretty scary, just because there is nothing stopping them from doing it again. DUWO isn't exactly rushing to put bars on the windows or something, so it feels kind of helpless. I was thinking about going to Belgium and France, but I'm not so sure when I think about people breaking into my room while I'm away.

考えれば怖い、だって一日中ここにいられないし、ビル持ってる人が何もしてないし。同じ風に泥棒たちが簡単に又できる。ベルギーとフランスに行くと思ってたけど物を考えたらちょっと怖い。

Als je over het denk is het bang, omdat er niks is om weer de mensen te stoppen. DUWO zet niet pijpen op de fensters. Ik dacht over naar Frankrijk en Belgie gaan, maar nu ben ik niet zo klaar. Ik denk van mijn kamer in de week ingebreekt worden.

My laptop would be worth nothing now, it's old and the keyboard is Japanese and falling apart, but hoodlums stealing laptops wouldn't know that, and if they went to the trouble of breaking in without getting anything they would probably wreck my stuff. Is there anything I can do?

今僕のパソコンはごみだけど多分泥棒はそれ分からないし、入るようにしたら他のものを壊すだろう？できることあるかな？

Mijn komputer is niks waarde, maar diefen weten dat niet waarschijnlijk. En misschien ze vinden andere dingen mooi of breken hem. Is er iets dat ik kan?

振られちゃった･･･

2008-04-15T14:52:00.000-07:00

Bad news... I confessed to her, and she said she never felt anything romantic towards me. Although I find it hard to believe after the way she acted on Christmas and the day before I left for my European trip, I don't think she would lie to me about that. Although I find it very difficult to believe she had no indication of anything, I guess she is just very naive and has a very odd thought process. Bah.

悪いニューズだ･･･告白して、彼女はロマンチック気持ちが俺にはないんだって。クリスマスのときを考えたらちょっと信じられないけど、彼女が俺にうそつかないと思う。全然知らないことはちょっと信じにくいけど多分彼女がちょっと変な考え方あると思う。もうぅぅ。

I have to say though, I was really impressed by how she put me down, she sounded kind of upset that the friendship wouldn't be the same. I never had a girl actually talk to me about this before, they just tossed me away like an old shoe. Although the feelings are understandably mixed with romantic ones, she was probably the girl I was closest to friends-wise that I ever liked, and still, I can't help but really like her, as a person, whereas often I'm just deluding myself, and only realise what kind of girl they are after the rejection. That's to say I was probably still deluding myself, but I picked the right girl to delude myself with.

でもな、彼女の振り方は尊敬する。友達関係が変わることは悲しいだって。実は振られるときに話さされたことない、いつも古い靴みたいに投げられた。気持ちがロマンチックのともちろん混ざってるんだけど多分誰よりも好きな子は友達の風に彼女が一番親しかった。まだ人の風に好きで尊敬する。普通に好きな子がこんなにいいと思ってない。ただ夢見てる。

Anyway, I think I've kind of become once again disillusioned with this pure love thing. It doesn't work. I just feel constantly miserable. It's time to go to Rotterdam and hit on some Dutch girls.

とにかく、もう一回ピュアラブには諦めた。不便だ。ずっと悲しい。ロッターダムに行って話しかける時間だよ。

Photos/写真/Fotos

2008-04-06T10:10:00.000-07:00

Today was a "free museum day" where all of the museums in the Netherlands are open to the public for free. I didn't know until late morning, but we went to see two museums in Delft: the army museum, and the old residence of the William, Prince of Orange.

今日は「無料博物館の日」でオランダの全部の博物館に誰も無料に入れる。今朝知ったばっかりだけどまだ友達と二つを見に行った：軍隊の博物館と昔のここの王子さんのウィリアムの家。

Vandaag was een vrijmuseumdag waar alle musea van Nederland zijn geopend naar iedereen voor vrij. Ik wist het niet tot vanochtend maar ben ik nog naar twee musea gegaan: de legersmuseum en de Prinsenhoff.

Finally I can put up my Nijmegen pics. For some reason Blogger will only let me upload one at a time though, so it's a little tedious.

やっとナイメゲンの写真もつけられる：

Eindelijk kan ik ook mijn Nijmegen fotos opzetten:

2008-03-26T14:56:00.000-07:00

I talked with her for a while today. It turns out that she has been really sick for at least two weeks. She said she couldn't eat for multiple days or walk, and at some point a doctor gave her the wrong medicine. I felt so horrible and useless. She had friends to help her, and her brother came from Germany, but I really felt stupid and oblivious. She is really stubborn when it comes to being sick, I mean she won't take tylenol and stuff like that. She said that she didn't want to distract me from studying, but it makes me a little sad too, that she didn't trust me more, or come to me when she needed help. The last thing is that I doubted her... I mean I thought she had given up on me or was ignoring me. I'm disappointed in my lack of trust in her, and confidence in myself. I really just feel miserable right now.

今日やっと彼女と話した。彼女が二週間以上大変に病気だった。食べられなくて歩けなかっただって。医者に違う薬ももらった！自分が本当に最悪で不便だと思ってた。友達が手伝ってたし、弟さんがドイツから来たんだけど僕がまだバカで何も見てないように思ってた。彼女は病気なら薬飲むのしないし、他の人に頼まない。勉強できるように教えてないって言ったけどもっと信じてくれてなくて、僕に頼ってなくてちょっと悲しい。最後は僕が彼女に信じてない。無視されてるか飽きられたと思った。今自信と彼女に信じてないことはがっかりしてる。今マジで元気ないね。

Eindelijk heb ik vandaag met haar gespreek. Ze was erg ziek voor slechts twee weken. Ze zei dat ze niet kon eten of lopen van de pijn, en de huisarts heeft haar de verkeerd medicjin gegeven. Ik voelt me pas helemaal slechts en onbelangrijk. Haar vrienden helpten haar en haar broer is van Duitsland gekomen maar ik voel me nog zo stupid en onoplettend. Ze is erg koppig met zieken, ze neemt geen medicijn als ze hoofdpijn heeft en zo. Ze zei dat om niet te andachten me van mijn studeren ze taald me niet, maar ik wis ze meer me vertrouwt of afhangen. Laatste, voel ik me slecht dat ik niet vertrouwte in haar en mezelf. Ik voel me helemaal slecht.

Happy Easter/dreams

2008-03-23T13:58:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, it was a lazy Easter for me, trying to study but instead not studying. I didn't eat eggs or egg-chocolate. But whatever, I don't really feel inclined to celebrate by myself.

こんにちわ皆さん、僕にはとても退屈のイースターだった。勉強したくて勉強しなくて一日を過ぎた。卵とか食べてない･･･一人なら祝うことが変だよね。

This is going to sound crazy, and I actually don't know what I believe about this, but I think it's interesting to contemplate nonetheless. I've had two dreams about girls before that have sort of "predicted the future". And a few days ago, I had one about the Indonesian girl. Someone once suggested that maybe the dreams are what I fear happening, and I'm just kind of right. The first two were bad, but this one seemed to be good, so I don't really think it's something to fear. It could always be (like what I think about fortune tellers and also religious prophecy) that I see the dream and the situation and the dream is vague enough that it just seems to have "come true" to me. But all of these dreams kind of felt the same, and deal with the same thing.

多分これがおかしらしいし、僕もこれを何考えるか良く分からないし、でも面白いと思うから書く。二つの女性恋愛の「未来を見せた」夢を見たことがある。最近、インドネシア系の子のも見た。誰かが「多分自分の怖いことを考えてて、正解になるから」言った。一二番目は悪かったけど今度よかったから怖いことじゃないと思う。多分（宗教と占いみたいにそう思ってる）十分分からないからなんか関係作れる。でも全部同じ感じだったね。

The first one was of the girl in question and myself, in a situation where our parents were good friends, and we were sort of left to ourselves, in one of our houses. So we are sitting in the room, quietly, and eventually, she starts to talk to me. After a few sentences, the conversation dies, you know, how it does when things are awkward. Then there is silence for a few more minutes. I then sum up my own courage and try to start a conversation with her. Again the conversation dies, and it never starts again, leaving me with a feeling of helplessness.

第一はそう言う子と僕の両親が友達で、集まって、僕たちが一緒にされた。誰かの家で。座って、座って、静かだけど彼女がやっと僕に話しかける。恥ずかしいから、なんか言うと話が止む。も一回静かで、今回僕が話しかける。話が止んで、ずっと一緒に何も話せない。凄く寂しくて何もできない気がする。

In real life there was a girl who lived in the same building with me. We knew each other for a long time, and I know she at least had some kind of feelings for me, and I definitely had them for her. She basically made an advance on me, that sort of died and never went anywhere, and later, I did the same, and it didn't go anywhere. And after that, I mean, I couldn't really even talk to her anymore.

事実は同じビールに暮らしてた子がいた。お知り合いだったし、彼女も僕のこと好きだったと思うけど、僕は大好きだった。一回僕をデートに誘ったけど、それから何も出てきてない。後、僕もそうして、それから何もなってないし、彼女ともう話できないとおもう。

In the second dream, I went shopping with a girl. We went wherever she wanted and she tried on different clothes. After spending a little more time in one store we both liked, we left. As we were walking together, towards an escalator, suddenly as I started to move up it I realised she wasn't there beside me anymore, and I saw her walking beside the escalator (on the level we had been on). I got up to the top of the escalator, and looked out to see if I could spot her, but I had lost her in the crowd. Again there was the feeling of "eternal over".

第二は一緒に買い物に行った。彼女が好きな店に行って、いろいろ着てみたいもの着た。二人も好きな店から出て、一緒に歩いて、僕がエスカレーターに上がって、彼女が上がってない。前のレベルで見たけど最高に着いたとき、人の多数で見えなかった。も一回ずっと終わりの気がした。

In real life, we went out a bunch of times, and I took her to do whatever she wanted,
and after we finally went out on a real date it was over, suddenly. I moved away, and I never really saw her again.

事実で何回も会ったし、彼女の好きなところに行ったし、やっと本当のデートしたときに急に終わった。僕が引っ越して、その時後全然見てない。

This time, I was waiting in a train station. I hadn't met with her in some time(as is the case right now in RL, although this would more likely mean years in the future), and coincidentally I spot her waiting on another bench, and we are both surprised, and kind of jokingly glare at each other a bit. I walk over to talk to her, and start talking with her, and it's like nothing has changed. At the end of the dream, I don't know if I missed the train, but I was left with a "there forever, talking simply" feeling.

今回は駅で待ってた。彼女とずっと会わなくて、偶然で他のベンチで見た。見かけて、二人もちょっとびっくりしたけど、僕がそこま歩いて話書ける。時間過ぎてないように話せた。電車間に合ったかどうか分からないけど、彼女とずっといてそんあ易しいままで話してた気がした。

It doesn't really matter if I had the dream or not - whether it's true or not I would probably act the same way. I'm just kind of wondering if it's only me who gets these "premonitions", and thought it was an interesting story to tell.

本当か僕の頭の中にあるか余り大事じゃない･･･同じ風に生きる。でも他のこんな夢見たことある人いる？

Now that I think about it there was another one, about two girls and which one to choose, and I chose the wrong one in real life, so it also came true. There was also a girl in high school who I dreamed about becoming my girlfriend, who I never liked before that, and starting liking after that. But it never came true. So I guess I'm probably out to lunch.

考えたら高校で誰かが彼女になることの夢見たけど、それはそうなってない。も一つは女性二人いて、僕選べなければならなくて、夢でダメの子選んで失敗だったからそれも本当になった。一つも当てないと多分偶然だよね。おかしくなってるね。

Nijmegen

2008-03-08T13:58:00.001-08:00

I went to Nijmegen, the so-called oldest city in the Netherlands, near the border with Germany, for a job interview on Thursday. First off, I paid 35 euro for the ticket (50 bucks). In typical Dutch fashion, the train I had planned to take didn't come, and then the next one (less direct) was late, so then when I actually got to the city, I had about 15 minutes to get to the plant (they actually manufacture semiconductors there) so I wouldn't have made it on time anyway.

ネメゲンって言うドイツの限りと近い一番年上オランダの町に行った、面接のように。まず切符は35ユーロ(5000円)払った。オランダらしくて、電車が来なくて、次のも遅くて、町に着いたときに15分しか工場に行く時間なかった。間に合えなかったけど、まだまだ着いてなかった。

Ik ben naar Nijmegen, de oudst stad van de Nederlands, dichtbij de grens met Duitsland, geweest om een interview te maken. Ik betaalte 35euro voor de kaart, en dan in de Nederlandse manier de trein is niet gekomen, en de volgende trein was laat. Toen ik ben in Nijmegen aangekomen, ik had 30 minuten om naar de kantoor te bereiken. Er was geen gesprek van een weg dat ik optijd kon aankomen.

Since people's English was much worse, and the map told me bus number 8 goes near where I needed to go, I got on that bus, but apparently it was a different number 8(?) and I walked back to the station (the busses didn't seem to be coming on time going back to the station), asked the information for which number, and got on another bus. I asked the driver in Dutch if it was indeed going to the plant, and he said yes. But when I was let off there, there were no signs, and it took a long time to figure out where to go (right or left around the barbed wire). So it took probably another 20 minutes to get there. And figure out what to do since there is a visitor procedure.

そこの人の英語がそんなに良くなくて、地図を読んで第8のバースに乗ることするに見せられて、乗っちゃった。でも違う第8だって（？）駅まで歩いて、誰かに聞いて、正しいバース乗った。工場に着いたときにどこが入り口分からなくて、正しいビルに着いた前に20分過ぎた。

Nijmegeners spreken niet zo goed Engels, en ik heb de nummer 8 bus geneemd, maar het ging niet naar de kantoor, en ik moest op voeten naar het station teruggaan. Vandaan heb ik iedereen aangevraagd, en op de juiste bus naar de kantoor gegaan. Maar daar ook wist ik niet waar te gaan, en voor ik ben angekomen was nog 20 minuten.

So I finally found the right building and the interviewer was paged, and I began the interview. It went well... but I think I was the only one who applied for the job, or the only one qualified (to be fair it's a driver/embedded software job, and I've done both before). So basically he told me I have the job if I want to do it. It just took a long time, and I walked back to the station afterwards. It was already 6:30 so I couldn't really see the city, and I decided to just go home.

やっとビル見つけて面接した人が来て、始まった。よくなったけど、多分僕だけが面接するように誘われたと思う。基本的に、「君がこの仕事したかったら、君のだ」言われた。ただ時間かかって、悪い経験から歩きたくて、駅に着いた時間がもう6:30時。町が閉まって、帰っちゃった。

Eindelijk kwam ik naar het juiste gebouw aan. De man met die ik de interview had is gekomen en de interview beginte. Het was goed... maar ik denk dat ik die enige mens dat hij gaf een interview was. Dus heeft hij "Je kunt de baan hebben als je wilt" gezeggen. Het koste veel tijd en ik loopte terug naar het station daarna. Het was al 6:30 dus ik niet de stad kon zien en ik ben thuis gegaan.

I was thinking a bit about taking the job there, especially since I also may have gotten the ARM job if I can get a work permit in England. As for the NXP(Nijmegen) job, the pay sucks I think (about the same as minimum wage in Ontario), it's in the middle of nowhere, and I don't want to do that kind of programming anymore. But, you know what, it's better than no job, and it would give me a really good chance to make Dutch friends and practice my Dutch. If I can get the ARM job though, it's not worth giving up for just that, because I think it should pay more(15 Canadian an hour or so?), and most of all it's exactly the direction I want to go. So it will help me learn more about this stuff, and have something powerful to put on my resume. Maybe I will go back to ARM after I graduate, who knows.

仕事をするをよく考えた、特別にARMの仕事もできたかも(イギリスで働ける登録できたら）。この仕事は給料低くて、遠いし、そんなプログラミングしたくないけど、オランダ人と友達になれて、オランダ語を練習できるからいいかも。でもARMのはあったら給料がもっと高いし、僕の行きたい方向に当てるからレジュメによくするし、いろいろ習えて、未来にそこで仕事できるかも。

Ik dacht veel over de baan doen, vooral omdat ik een andere baan op ARM heb als ik kan in Engeland werken. De baan in Nijmegen heeft een laag salaris, het is wel ver, en ik wil niet dit soort programeren meer. Maar ik kan met veel Nederlandse vreinden kennismaken en mijn Nederlands oeferen. Maar als ik de baan op ARM kan doen dat is wel beter denk ik... de salaris is hooger, en de richting is dezelfde met wat ik wil doen. Het zult goed voor mijn CV zijn, en misschien zal ik even later ook daar werken.

Here are some Haikus I wrote while bored on the train/connecting for 3 hours each way.

電車で退屈三つを俳句書いた(季語じゃないかな？「雨の雲」と「緑草」)：

Hier zijn sommige Haikus dat ik schreef op de trein terwijl 3 uurtjes elke weg reisen.

電車海
花びら一緒
風で舞う

Sea of trains
Together with the flower petals
Scatter in the wind

Zee van treinen
Samen met de bloemen
Eendrijven uit in de wind

雨の雲
国土と希望を
窒息する

Rain clouds
Suffocating
This land and our hopes

Regenwolk
Verstikken
Dit land en ons hopen

緑草
世界呼吸する
女子笑顔

Green grass
The world can breathe
The smile of a girl

Groene gras
De wereld kan ademen
De glimlach van een meisje

Wat een boeiend weekend...

2008-02-23T14:53:00.000-08:00

This sucks. All I did all day was read. All I did yesterday was cook and watch shows. All I'm going to do tomorrow is the next problem set for computer arithmetic (very difficult). It seems this semester, although there are less classes, conceptually they are much more difficult than before.

がっかりな･･･今日読むことしか何もしてない。昨日料理と番組を見ることしか何もしてない。明日コンピューター算数の次の問題セットしか何もしない(難しい）。この学期はしなきゃならないことはそんなに多くないけど前より概念が難しいんだ。

Jammer... Vandag heb ik buiten lezen niks gedaan. Gisteren heb ik buiten koken en TV kijken niks gedaan. Morgen zal ik buiten de nieuwe computer rekenen problemen niks doen (erg ernstig). Het lijkt als deze semester hoewel er minder lessen zijn, zjin ze speculatief echt meer moelijk dan vroeger.

I have a telephone interview Tuesday... wish me luck! I also recently mailed a contract for a phone, but I'm not sure if it will work since there was no res permit photocopy (I have no idea where that thing is).

インタビューが火曜にあって･･･応援してください！最近携帯契約も書いたけど受かるかどうか分からない。居住認可のコピーないからさ（認可がどこにあるか分からないよね）。

Ik heb een telefoon interview op Dinsdag... succes zeg je voor mij! Ik heb ook recente een kontrakt voor een mobiel gemailed, maar ik weet niet als het kan omdat er geen verblijfsvergunning fotokopie was (Ik weet niet nog waar die ding is).

I played through the entirety of the newest Benoit Sokal game on Tuesday... 12 hours straight. I only stopped to get food and relieve myself. That was a great day. I really like the worlds he creates, more than his games themselves. But it was kind of cool, it was a mystery game.

新しいベンワー・ソカルのゲームの全部金曜日にやっちゃった･･･12時間。トイレと食べ物を取るしか止めてない。すごい一日だった。彼が作る世界が大好き、ゲームよりも。でもちょっとかっこよかった･･･神秘のゲームだった。

Ik speelde op Dinsdag de hele van de nieuwst Benoit Sokal spel... 12 openvolgende uur. Ik heb allen gestoppen om eten te halen en naar de bad kamer te gaan. Wat een leuke dag! Ik vind zijn gemaakte werelds helemaal lekker, meer dan zijn spellen. Maar het was een beetje koel, het was een mysterie spel.

I've been watching this Japanese variety show called "London Hearts" lately. Basically there is a big group of of celebrity(to varying degrees) girls, and a couple of guy hosts. There is usually some interaction with some kind of survey done by 1000 guys or 1000 girls or something, but basically every episode they do something different, and they make fun of each other and themselves. The main host (Tamura Atsushi) is really good at pointing out something funny or wrong about what the girls say. The cast has a really good balance or chemistry or something... some are not so bright, others quirky, some hilarious. And it sort of surprises me, but I understand almost everything! The last episode I watched (for Valentine's Day) they had a contest to see who could find the hottest guy. So they all went into vans and tried to find the hottest guy possible and videotape them, and then 200 normal girls voted on who was the hottest. It was hilarious.

最近ロンドン･ハーツって言う番組見てる。凄く面白いな！ヴァレンタインの日のスペシャルのイケメン・グランド・プリーは床で笑っていた。青田と青木受けてるよね！

Thoughts/考え/Dachten

2008-02-08T03:28:00.000-08:00

I just got a Facebook friend request from my best friend in kindergarten to grade 2. When I looked at his profile, he is already married to a blonde who probably matches the stereotype, didn't go past high school and works as a lineman for the hydro company, smokes, and rides motorcycles.

先フェースブックの友達リクエストが幼稚園から小学校二年まで親友にもらっちゃった。彼のプロファイルを見て、もうブロンドの女子と結婚してるし、高校後教育と進まなかったし、電気会社のワイヤとか直す人だし、タバコ吸うし（カナダは日本よりこれが｢悪い子」感じする）、バイク乗る、

I just feel like we were practically the same when we were young, but now we are complete opposites! I can't imagine being married. I can't imagine having not been to university. I can't even really imagine myself owning a motorcycle. I wonder, is it because of our parents? My parents were definitely a lot different than his parents, although they got along. Similarly, I think I would still get along with him.

僕の思いは同じぐらい子供だったけど今全然反対だよね！結婚なんて想像できない。大学に行ってないことも。バイクを持ってることまでもちょっと信じられない。親のせいかな？彼の親と僕のは結構違ったと思うけど仲よかった。この風にまだ彼と会ったら楽しめると思う。

But, I mean, I never really even considered the option of not going to university, would I have thought that way if my own parents hadn't gone? My friends in high school were almost all the "going to university" types, so that might be a factor too.

でも、大学に行かない選択は一度も考えてない･･･親が大学から卒業しなかったらまだその風に思うかな。高校のごろの友達もほとんど｢大学に行く」タイプだったからその理由もあるかもしれない。

And marriage... all these people getting married are scaring the living fuck out of me! I can only guess at how someone like Wuri feels... which begs the question, is it right to be casually dating a girl over 25 from a patriarchal society?

それで結婚？いろいろもう結婚した人は僕を怖くするんだ！ウーリみたいな人の気持ちは推測しかできない･･･それから「25歳以上男性中心社会から来てる女とゆっくり付き合うって正しい？」って言う質問出ちゃうね。

I finally saw Wuri yesterday for the first time in over a month. But nothing's changed I guess. It seems like she needs a lot less attention than I do. When I told her how much time has elapsed she was like "Seriously, it's been that long?" whereas I'm thinking about when I can meet her every day. Why the hell am I such a girl?

やっとウーリと一ヶ月以上間後会った。何も変わってないみたい。彼女は僕より注意が必要ないらしい。彼女にどのぐらいだったか教えた時に｢マジ？そんなに長い?」って言ったけど僕は毎日彼女と会うことを考えてる。何で僕はこんなに女っぽいなんだろう？

Binnenhoff party II

2008-02-02T09:10:00.000-08:00

Finally I'm finished all of my exams, although I have half of a project left to do. This next quarter should be a little less intense, so I should be able to travel, and look for summer jobs and internships and so on.

やっと試験終わった、プロジェクトはも一つあるけど。次の学期はもっと優しそうで旅行できて、夏の仕事を探せると思う。

Uiteindelijk heb ik alle mijn tentamen geschreven, hoeveel ik heb nog half van een projektje om te doen. De naaste kwartier zou minder moeilijk worden dus ik zou mogen reisen en een zomer baan en internships zoeken en zo.

We had another party here to celebrate the end of exams. This one was much better than the last one! We paid a DJ to come, and we bought over 500 beers. All of them were gone by 2 AM! But although last time they left basically as soon as the wells dried up, this time they stayed until around 4.

昨日試験の終わりのように二つ目のパーティー開催した。今回前の奴より全然よかった！DJを払って、ビールは500本以上買った。全てが2時前に飲まされた！前そのときに皆出ちゃったけど昨日に4時までいた。

We hadden nog een feest om de endigt van tentamens te vieren. Deze was helemaal beter dan de laatste! We betaalten en DJ om te komen, en gekocht meer dan 500 biertjes. Alles was voor 2 uur verschijnt! Maar hoevel de vroeger keer zijn mensen spoedig thuis gegaan, deze keer zijn ze tot rond 4 uur gebleven.

I've been shutting myself in my room recently, often without a word coming out of my mouth all day, only talking only online to people, wasting my time here. So I really tried to meet and talk to as many new people as possible, and "refresh" with as many people I met before but since pretended to forget or whatever. Anyway, the result was one of the best times I've had here.

最近ずっと部屋にいて誰もと話さなくてオンラインの人だけとメッセージしただけ、ここの時間を無駄した。だから友達を作るように頑張った。とにかく結果がすごく楽しかった夜だった。

Recent ben ik altijd in mijn eigen kamer gesloten, regelmatig zonder een woord uit mijn mand voor een hele dag, pas spreken met online mensen, verspillen mijn tijd hier. Dus heb ik zeker geprobeerd om veel mensen kennis te maken. Het gevoelg was een van de beste nachten van mijn reis.

Today I'm going to a combination of my friend's (possibly relative, she has the same last name as me with the same spelling) birthday, and a carnival party. Actually, when I was out in Delft today there was a big parade (although I'm sure it's not like in South American countries) and some people went to Maastricht for the celebrations there.

今日友達の誕生日とカーニヴァルのミックスの会に行く。今日はデルフトの真中にいた時パレード見たし、お知り合いは誰かがマーストリクトに行った。

Vaandag ga ik naar een combinatie van de verjaardagfeest van een vrienden van mij en een Karnivale feest. Eigenlijk vroeger vandaag toen ik in het centrum geweest, was er een grote defile, en sommige mensen gingen naartoe Maastricht voor de vieren daar.